Tuesday, May 23, 2017

what to do when your kid's the only one crying.

post by casey.

anddddddd other questions I don't have the answers to:

- how to discipline (DISCREETLY) in the shoe/ANY isle at Target

- how to discipline (DISCREETLY) in the produce section of the grocery store after your kid rams the back of someone's ankles with the mini-cart

- how to explain that it's not only WHAT you say but HOW you say it

- how to not enjoy watching your children physically fight, see also: how to make yourself want to break up a physical fight between siblings

- how to not yell at them or in general

- how to not feel like you're failing

- how to convince yourself your child isn't going to completely bomb at being a good human

yesterday I took the kids to the Spencer Bike Rodeo in Spencer, WI. This is our 2nd year attending and it's such a great event that the local Fire/Ambulance Department hosts - and that my younger sister, Pigg, is a part of. They give out free helmets to all the kids and raffle off about 10 bikes or more! We have hot dogs and juice and then head out for a bike ride/walk/my kid cried/whined the entire time because he was 'losing' in this nonexistent race!?

homer was the one struggling and yet he's still able to pose for a photo looking like a complete...sociopath?!;)

we walked away, having won, 1 trike, 1 20" bike, a bunch of small door prizes, stuffed with hot dogs, an upset stomach from the cheesecurds (ME) and a crying 5YR old (ME;).

some things that I noted at 123AM, when I should have been sleeping but instead was thinking about the Bike Rodeo anddd death anddddd Pizza Hut;)

so Homer was or so it seemed, the only one crying about having not won a bike. Prior to going to the event, we talked in length about winning and losing and being happy for anyone that wins. And we talked about how he already has a really nice bike and there are a lot of kids that don't have a bike at all and we hope they win a bike. I, basically, told him several times that we weren't even going to WIN a bike. That wasn't even a possibility. None of the bikes are yours or will be yours. And thennnnnn we get there and he immediately falls in love with a bike and had his heart set on it. Even offering to give away his own bike in order to get this new bike that was way better than the 'junk' he's currently being forced to draggggg around town;)

long story short...it was disappointing. It's WAY more fun when it's not your kid;) And it always seems way easier when it's not your kid...not only because it's NOT.YOUR.KID and so you don't have to deal with it but when it's happening to the mom and her 'shitty;)' kid in the isle over...it's SO easy to trot on by with your - quiet at the moment but that was you last week - kids and think that you would have done 'this or that' to shut that shit down immediately...
I've walked into Target and walked back out within 5MIN. I've had another mom walk into my isle while I had my face in my kids' face and pinching their arm. I've sweat to the point of looking like I had a pretty committed relationship with all.the.drugs - specifically, the sweat inducing ones?!;). I've just barely made it to the van and called Jacob sobbing about how awful and embarrassing they just were during their dentist appointments.

DISCLAIMER: these are only the bad parts. Which make me appreciate those days/outings of good behavior SO much more:) I take these cats with me everyyyyyyyy.whereeeeee and I'm always weirdly excited to see how things shake out;)

i gave Homer a break cause he's FIVE and is in this 'stage' of wanting ev.er.y.thinggggggg and struggling to come to terms with winning and losing. 
Is it too much to ask to want my 5YR old to come up with ideas for giving and being generous and caring about others more than himself and picking out toys in Target for anyone but himself and wanting to clean-up without being asked and not just doing anything resembling a good dead because he thinks it'll 'get him something' and go to bed concerned about World Peace!?!!??!;) Too much?! Yeah...maybe we'll just shoot for him not being a jerk 72% of the time;).

i don't want people to judge my kid on the small glimpses they get of him - at least not the negative ones;). And I'm going to do better about remembering that when I see someone else's kid having a 'moment' as well:)

kids will be kids!! Right?! Amirighttttt?!?!!? Hi-fiveeeeee...manic laughterrrrrrr;).

my biggest concern as they grow has been wondering how to put them to bed at night having gotten through to them, having helped them learn something, having made a positive impact on them but also reiterating to them that they're flawless to me...

fucking kids. AMIRIGHT.

theo, can I get a picture of you with your helmet on? #nailedit


  1. Oh the joys of raising children. I remember when my daughters Lisa and Peggy were maybe 9 and 7. We took them to Disney World and before going into the park I told them if they started fighting we would leave. First ride they go on, they start fighting about who is going to turn the wheel. We left immediately. Time spent at Disney World - less then 20 minutes. Yes I was a bad ass Mom but had to be raising 4 kidos.

  2. And I am proud to say all four turned out to be productive giving people.

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