Friday, December 15, 2017

just your typical, fake mom.

post by casey.

guys. Whyyyyyyyyyy.

nothing good starts with: Soooooo, I saw this thing on Pinterest.
I'll let the photos do someeeee of the talking.

i've been in a funk this last week. It started with having several dreams of an old friend of ours that died - will the D-word always take my breath away?! - many years ago. I guess I feel fortunate that he still visits me. Not sure where you stand on such things and I'm neither saying I believe that he's 'visiting' me or that it's all my subconscious...but it always seems quite random. I think of him often, regardless. But man. Those dreams still knock me on my ass for a few days.
I'm sure I never mentioned but after he was gone, I wrote in journals a lot. I struggled, big time. I've since gotten rid of them all. No regrets there, I needed to let go. BUT I used to sign all of my passages with PBIMDT. Please Be In My Dreams Tonight.
Man. I miss that kid. this little project...that took twice as long to set-up: me cutting the shape of a Christmas Tree out of a tiny cork:/...well, it took me all of 10sec to realize it wasn't gonna work and all of 7min for the kids to have their hands and mouths and part of my floor, covered in black paint.

this project was the actual physical mess that has been my feelings all week. Therapeutic, really;). I did dishes while they thought they were creating art;).

i also just ate a bowl of Mac&Chs, quickly, while my 2mo old screamed. I never thought Mac&Chs could get less satisfying. Mission accomplished.

so Jacob's been working for over 2wks straight. Every day. For more than 2wks. In.A.Row. Last night he didn't get home until 1130PM. Tonight he hopes to be home by 7PM. I've been watching kids all week and have a hair appt. tonight and a Date Day on the horizon...I'm in desperate need of a shower and my clothes don't fit back actually hurts from shoveling snow and I forgot to start the coffee - 2nd pot of the's1242PM.

i shared this quote on Instagram yesterday and it still feels really good to read.

"Meaning and purpose don't come in the forms of great accomplishments or undertakings. Rather they reveal themselves on some randomly idle weekday morning when you realize how much you love someone or that you're doing all you can with what you can carry in the place you are with the time you have with what you care about." 
- Victoria Erickson

so this week hasn't been the best but it certainly hasn't been the worst. I spent time with my nieces and nephews. My husband has worked hard all day, everyday and then came home and worked hard to give me a break. I have a baby to cuddle. And I saw an old friend, even if only in my dreams.

happy weekend, friends:)

Monday, December 4, 2017

rocky peyton is TWO.

post by casey.

rocky peyton turned 2 on November 12, 2017! It was a super low key event. I'm gonna claim the simplistic route and deny that I just don't have time to track down a number 2 shaped balloon and where can you rent a pony? and birthday patterned plates and cups and napkins and the gifts...I mean, I'm at Target at least once a week...;).

but truly, as we've added to this family - my own children and my sisters children...there are 17 of them now - we've not only realized there's less time to make a fuss about such things BUT, more importantly, we've discovered that such things do not a Happy Birthday make:).

these kids and their happiness mean EVERYTHING to us. But all they seem to need are hugs and kisses and a very modest amount of fuss - well, and powdered donut balls;).

i almost had myself convinced that Rocky would skip those sassy years but with each year he's has his personality. Times 5;).

he's managed to find a way to keep up with his siblings and cousins and it didn't take too much work to carve out his very own space.

rocky's speaking more clearly - kinda;) - with each passing day! He eats...sometimes. He naps...most days. He currently has a rash on his face;). He's into everything...ALL.THE.TIME. He's a good sleeper!!! Most recently, he hates putting clothes on to leave the house. He loves coloring...on my floors and walls...and on his stomach and arms and legs and Theo's face;).

rocky p. We were not expecting you as soon as you finding out you existed and in your entry into this world. All so fast but so perfect:). We love you, the most incredible amount. You were exactly what we needed. 

Happy Birthday, Rocky P. 
The thought of you growing, even a day, painful. But I'm so excited to get the privilege of seeing you grow and witness who and what you become:). 

rocky and his Sponsors: Luke and Nash

 well, that's just as good as it's gonna get;)

and because I enjoy crying...late at night...quietly...all.the.tears...;')

Monday, November 27, 2017

you were supposed to bring the money: we almost didn't get a tree. but we did.

post by casey.

you guys, there was a moment where I said to Jacob: "knock it off before the 'Tree Guy' sees us for what we really are!!".

yesterday was crazy and Fake It Till You Make It rang true...although, we never did actually 'Make It' after all that faking;).
I don't think the 'Tree Guy' heard the arguments once we were in the van but I can't guarantee he didn't hear all my threatening whispers amongst the Christmas Trees while we were out in the wild;).

i'm so happy to have these photos because they don't tell the whole story but I doubt they'd make me even half as happy if I didn't have all those memories to go along with them!:)

ike had a blow-out.
theo had to take a dump.
homer was trying to be 'helpful'.
jacob was on the vergeeeeeee - he forgot his knife and couldn't get the tree secured to the top of the van:/.
rocky was chasing the chickens.
and both Rocky and Theo were basically ignoring us.

BUT we got a tree. And there was a moment - that moment we got home, after Theo had complained of having to pee and poop SO.BAD. the entire time we were at the Tree Farm and we rushed her to the house because surely we'd just made it after forcing her to hold it for the last hour - and she says: "I don't have to go, I'm good".
That's when Jacob and I looked at each other and laughed...manically. Cause...areyoufuckingkiddingme?!?!?!?!?!?

that being said...the rest of the night was a mix of Good Timesssss and Bad;). You win some and you lose a lot more, I suppose;). But at the end of the could not be more worth it. 
Looking back. 
Maybe not at the time. 
But now. 
Especially, after they go to bed at night;).