post by Casey.
Oh, wow...I drafted this post on June 13, 2020. One day after Mae was born...I didn't type one word...just added the title: June Baby, Mae.
HOW AMBITIOUS OF ME TO EVEN HAVE CONSIDERED BLOGGING 24HRSSSSSS AFTER GIVING BIRTH.;).
And here we are...almost exactly ONE YEAR LATER. Finally getting back to this post. And instead of it being a Birth Post...it's a First Birthday Post. OMG. Yes, bitch. That's more like it;).
I've been considering getting back to writing. And by getting back to writing...I mean...I didn't necessarily USED to write...but I blogged on a more consistent occasion. Instagram has certainly taken the place of other writing outlets for me. I like to talk and share and Instagram has been really great for that. BUT ya know...Instagram has been next level not so great at times and I keep having this little nudge to get off it for a while. Like 6 months. Or a year. Just a niceeeee longgggg extended break. Gosh, I miss a flip phone. I've been thinking it'd be fun and adorably 'vintage' to get a flip phone for any phone calls and actually take.calls. I KNOW. That sounds scary and exhausting;) And, honestly...I'd have to break myself of that little heart attack I have every time someone CALLS me. Something MUST be deathly wrong if my girlfriend or sister or mom had to dial my number and immediately get in touch with me!!!!! When making phone calls myself, I've actually lead with: EVERYTHING'S OKAY...but it would just be faster to say this out-loud;).
So maybe this is the first of many blog posts to come, as I free up time off my phone and back to the basics. Pen and Paper (aka. the blog:).
Below is the most recent entry in Mae's Journal - I haven't been able to keep up with a Yearly Photo Book but I have been consistent in the kids' journals and their First Year Video - pats.self.on.back.for.following.through.with.something
THE most adorable photos by Courtney
Mae
1yr+2days
Monday, June 14, 2021
Sunny - 75degrees - 13mph winds
I remember my Grandma Bieze's Journals including the weather that day and it kinda stuck with me:)
Sweet Baby Mae Mae. My goodness. We love you. When I grabbed your book to write this entry, I feel like IT hit me like a ton of bricks. I lost my breath for a second. How has it been a YEAR since I was watching the sun come up and listening to the birds chirp...sitting on the couch, while the rest of the house was still asleep - besides your dad, obvs., everyone else slept right through your birth;).
I still can't believe that somehow we were led to your birth at home. I have to be thankful for ALL that led us to that. Timing. Not 'meant to be' but gratitude, grace + timing. I wasn't so good at the first 2 in waiting for you and your arrival...but I'm learning to believe 'something' does indeed know better. That regardless of my short comings and wants and expectations...I've been given all these beautiful things...in time. NOT my timeline. And I've had to choose to believe it's been for the best.
Mae. You haven't slept through the night ONCE. And not only not slept through...you wake up at least 3 times every night. You don't sleep alone. Not at night and not for naps. When I'm struggling...boy, am I struggling at times...things can seem pretty crazy normally, but when a girl hasn't slept in over a year - except for 2-1/2hr increments...you struggle.
The 'good' times are so sweet and your existence is enough but man...I've never feared for my mental health the way I have this last year (add in a global 'pandemic' for good measure...).
Your first year was so strange and I had to try not to be affected (I was) by how little normalcy we got. No Mae + Mama trips anywhere in public. One full year+ of never being apart - from you or any of the kiddos. It's been a ride. But that might be worth a whole separate blog post:).
Today is a GOOD day:). Yesterday was a GOOD day. I'm so thankful for you and our family.
Mae. You're walking! Officially, at 11months! The earliest we've ever had a walker in this family (by more than 6MONTHS!!!;). You babble/talk all the time - seriously, THE cutest thing ever!. Clapping for Yay! Still nursing all day and all night. I've been trying to wean you because we'd love to have ONE more baby but I don't think you're quite ready:).
The kids call you Baby Chana (cha-na). So random and hilarious!
You're still in bed with us full-time - working on that:).
You have a mouth full of little hippo teeth!!!
Mae Mae. We love you. You are a little adventurer: we went to Devils Tower, WY with you and the rest of the kids when you were just 3months old!:) We'll be headed to Del Norte, CO in August. And there have been countless (local-ish) adventures in between!
Your big eyes are a grey with a hint of blue/green.
You bring so much happiness to our lives.
love.
Mom + Dad
If you have 4+minutes to spare...here First Year Video is below!:)
