Hey Hickory: Casey and Jacob

Showing posts with label Casey and Jacob. Show all posts

Monday, August 6, 2018

do we sell the house?

post by casey.

jacob and I have always thought this house would be our Forever Home. And it might still be. Maybe moving a couple times while I was growing up...a few times in my youth and a few times even before I remember...maybe that has enabled me to look at a house as just a safe place to 'call' home. I think I could call home any where I was with my family. Unfortunately, when I say Family...I mean that IF we were to ever more beyond the City limits, my mom and dad and Courts and her 10 kids and Pigg and Mal and her 4 kids/ETC. would have to move right along with us;).

i've looked into selling the house before. Our ultimate goal is to build a very small, energy efficient home on the land near his parents. Outside of town feels but very much the convenience and in town location. Ultimately, we can't afford to do that any time soon. Which is frustrating because I'd love to build a 1800sqft house and throw a few kids in shared rooms and have a tiny master with the space saved for a roomy closet and luxurious bathroom and walls of windows and solar panels on the roof...I haven't given it much thought at all;).

we shelved that idea a year or more ago when we realized it would take some pretty creative planning to make happen on our budget and that in the end...we'd be house poor. I wasn't willing to compromise travel. I'd rather stay where we're at, 'fixer-upper' + small mortgage and be able to travel, than to live in a finished home but not be able to DO anything.

Who are you...BIG house or LITTLE house?! Do you want all.the.space? Or like us, do you find that since moving UP and to a bigger home, you still find that you're ALL in the same place at the same time anyways?!

when Jacob came home the other night and suggested that we look again at selling it all and starting over...we got to talking and realized that where we're at right now is...exactly where we should be:). We may not have cabinets in our kitchen. We may not have a floor in our bathroom. There may be wet spots on our ceilings where the old roof leaked.

It's no where near 'done' but it really is perfect for us right now and we do, very much, love this house:).

okay...babies and toddlers don't give me the luxury of being much more wordy on this blog posts and you KNOW I have so much more to say;). But what I will say is that we're staying put...for now. After a long talk, we kinda figured out that our impatience in being here and wanting to go somewhere else was less about the new place and more about starting over and starting fresh and being able to minimize and all the reasons we were listing for wanting to leave this house were things that we could change and do. Right now. And so we went to bed having stayed up way too late, talking about our plans and making lists - literally, my favorite nights with my husband:).

over the last week I've sold more stuff and we've cleaned out rooms and started a bunch of projects and thrown things and hauled things out and downsized and organized and it feels so good!

had we had this conversation a year ago, I don't think much would have changed. For whatever reason, the other night, we were ready to take some action. Timing is always everything:). And so going forward, we are trying to motivate ourselves to do the things that we CAN do. Stop looking at what we 'want' 10 years from now or even tomorrow and concentrate on what we can do TODAY! And hell, there's A LOT that can be done today:).

now, here are some photos from earlier this summer when we went to Mead Wildlife Area and ran the trails and the misquotes had there way with us on the way through the woods and the kids got to pet some turtles and I got to run from a snake;).

i haven't forgotten the difficulty of the summer and adjusting to all the kids being home and the fighting and boredom and the missed naps and having to feed my kids - holy shit, that actually might be the worst..having to feed them all the times in a day;)...but even with all that, we really are having the best time and I think our summers together (and late night plan-making) and last minute adventures, will always be my favorite:).

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

remember me? didn't think so;).

post by casey.

well, if there ever was a way to fail at blogging...Courts and I would be winning at that!!;)

did you know that Courts is pregnant?!;) - see announcement HERE. Did you know that I am not?;(

family photos over Mother's Day - Papa took a permanent marker to my kids face prior...;)

I may share more of these at some point!:)

wine night with the ladies:)

rocky still can't talk worth shit. He IS peeing in the yard...so we're making some potty-training progress!;) He does a pretty realistic dinosaur impression and he really can't do much wrong, in my book...even though he's, basically, doing wrong things constantly!!!;)

claire and rocky in that pool that took me no less than 27 trips to the bath tub with 2 ice cream pails...and they played in there for approximately 13minutes:/

homer is wrapping up his 1st full year of school! Kindergarten is over next week and man...I'm having feelings about that! He's SIX you guys and I've always had a terrible memory but having to dig deep to remember that every time someone asks...it hurts;'(.
Kindergarten has been amazing for him! Mrs. Guyer, his teacher, is just...EVERYTHING. Homer loves her. I love her. I'm almost a tinyyyyyyy bit sad that he's done so well - thanks so much to her - but I wouldn't be mad if he had to be in her classroom one more year;).

jacob has been putting in a lot of hours at work, which has been great for our savings but we already miss him. It will be a long summer without him but we're used to that by now:).
Did I mention that we paid off all our debt?! We're DEBT-FREE!?!?!? We drive a 2001 Dodge Caravan...it has dual (manual;) sliding doors....would you rate your envy at a 10 out of 10 yet?;)
And by Debt-Free, I mean that we haven't had credit cards for years...we haven't accumulated debt for years...we've just been trying to clean up a mess for...YEARS. And now we just have a mortgage and no air conditioning and it's been 110thousand degrees BUT we're so so ~~sweaty~~ happy!!!:)

i've still been watching kids (my sisters - and no, I will not watch your kids;) here and there. Just about enough to pay for the occasional facial but not enough to really want to rip out my ovaries. #balance
I've also clocked another year of...sobriety!? That feels heavy but I believe that is what I have been/am. It's been just over 2 years now. Phew!

theo is still holding down the fort. She's keeping things weird...which we love:). She starts PreK this fall!!! Why do I fear that she'll actually have a harder time being pulled off my leg than Homer???;/ - see how Homer did HERE.

i've been doing the Spring/Summer things! Freshening up the landscaping. Buying all.the.things at the Greenhouses. Filling the pool manually because the hose situation is broke and that's just been awful! Push mowing the lawn every 17hrs;).

ike is growing by the second. He's adorable and fun and great and quite the talker! Smiles nonstop! He's soft. Oh, man...he's so.gosh.darn.SOFT!!!!!!! We love cuddles. He rolls and is pushing himself around on the floor but no where near sitting yet.
He's still exclusively nursing. He's going through a bit of a sleep regression - is that what the people who keep track of such things call it??!?. Currently, he's up until about 1AM...except for last night/this morning...we prepared mentally for 1AM and so you know...he was up till after 3AM. Good one. Great. Awesome. How though. Whyyyyyy.;).

we're hanging in there;).

we're just so happy for the warm weather! I'd take 80's over the cold ANY day! Give me sweat over goosebumps!

we're trying not to do too much planning for the next few months. We're just hoping to save, save, save...I mean...people have savings and we want to be those people!!!!;). We'd love to do some traveling and get away a bit but we're just going to be ~~annoying~~ noncommittal and the goal this summer is Spur of the Moment/Last Minute/Why Not/Maybe/We'll See/Sure/No/Let's Do It/Yes/ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE;).

so we're good and we're trying to stare at the kids more and take it all in and really appreciate this time. Gosh, we've really lucked out and we're just so so aware of that.

have a great day, friends.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

ike vs. RSV

post by casey.

i'll start by saying: He's OKAY:). We have a strong and healthy ~~little~~ chubby boy on our hands!

we - myself and Ike - spent 6 days in the hospital. Ike was diagnosed with RSV - Respiratory Syncytial Virus - and we were fortunate to get there when we did. He struggled with eating and breathing and we spent every one of the next 6 days getting him back on track. Each day that passed I thought, surely we'll be going home today!! And I think I did that every day for 6 days! The denial is strong with this one;).

while we were there my sisters and mom took over caring for Homer, Theo and Rocky. Getting Homer to and from school (he only got forgotten at school once, so I'd say we did pretty damn good;).

Jacob was out of town the first few days - because kids never get sick when it's convenient. We are just so so fortunate to have our family.

it's so good to have sisters that show up, even when you don't think you need them to. It's so good to have sisters that can sooth your baby as if he was their own. It's so good to have sisters that know a thing or 10 about some of the medical things and can be your ears when you immediatly zone out when a conversation about NICU comes up!:( It's SO good to have sisters who walk in without a word, take your baby - who's hooked to an IV and Oxygen - out of your arms so you can go to the bathroom and sob in the shower and come out with blood shot eyes and she says "nope, can't tell you've been crying...at.all;)".

and I have parents who take your 3 kids to a tool show and buy them fishing poles and take them to visit their dad and drive them around the country-side to spot deer and bear and Homer even claims he spotted a Moose..right here in Central WI!!!;)

our family, friends and neighbors brought company and distraction, food and necessities, support and encouragement:). We have chosen to do life with the right people surrounding us.

some people - I'm looking at you Brooke and Monica Casey;) - are just caretakers. It's written deep within them to show up, even when you don't think you want or need them to:). I learned a lot from how they showed up for me and Ike and hope to put that example to use the next time it's not so obvious that someone else needs or hesitates to ask for help.

something else I learned through this experience, is that you can not compare your circumstances to others.

It's down right impossible to feel like your struggle is justified. You're struggling and then you think: someone else out there has it harder! Why can't I do this when so and so is so clearly in a worse situation!

My emotion and stress came from exhaustion. I knew Ike would be okay. But that didn't make it any less of a struggle. He was sad and sick. I missed my kids and my husband.

I think we don't give ourselves a fucking break or cut ourselves any slack...because you know, asking for help...accepting help...that would mean that we can't.do.it.all! And holy shit...god forbid we 'need' anything. Help doesn't mean weakness. But it sure feels like it sometimes.

ike is loved:)

adventures in FaceTiming;)

i'm not crying, you're crying!!!!;') - seeing/holding my other babies for the first time in 4-1/2 days.

Also. If this face/eyes/bags don't scream: NO SLEEP SINCE ~~BROOKLYN~~ 2012;)

Also. One of my favorite photos of all time:)

it took them 4 times to draw blood. I saw a different doctor/physician/nurse/huck/cna/respiratory therapist every couple hours. They interrupted our sleep every.damn.time. The shampoo sucked. I slept on a cot for 6 nights - something my soon-to-be 35yo body wasn't a huge fan of;).

But even after all that...I didn't get upset. I wasn't mad at anyone. The only time I came even close to throwing down with someone was with the Lunch Lady over how many pancakes she deemed TOO many. Bitch, do.not.test.me.

we're home and boy did it feel good to get home. But now it's 223AM and I'm struggling to get off hospital time;). Ike has adjusted well to not being poked and prodded every 27MIN:).

he was sent home a pound lighter than when we arrived and with an inhaler to be used for as long as this cough lasts. He's such a good boy. It was hard to see him not himself.

thank you guys. I know, had I shared this in real time, you would have all been so incredibly supportive.

Now...let's get this terrible season of illness behind us!!!!:)

Monday, January 29, 2018

ike: 3 months.

post by casey.

it's impossible not to take Ike for granted! So often...very often...I make sure to take a minute, snuggle him tight and thank him for being here and thank him for asking so little of me;).

ike has been such a joy - have I said that about all my babies (minus HELLION newborn Theo?;). Well, he certainly is:). He's exclusively nursing. He's giving us a bit of sleep at night. He's co-sleeping and sleeps best in my arms at night but takes a few nice long naps during the day on his own...giving me a lot of time to be productive around the house! He loves smiling and chit chatting with us!

he did get a bad cough over the holidays and we're finally on the tail end of that - thankfully - UPDATE: the cough is back since I drafted this post:(!!!. But we took many baths together during that time and it had me kicking myself for not taking baths with all my babies! He loves the water and it's a great way for both of us to relax before bed!

i just can't believe he's been here for 3 months. It seems like forever but I can hardly believe that just 90 days ago, I had a baby!?!

"a baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for."

- Pablo Picasso

i will add, that I've heard of such a thing as Mom having a little 3 Month...thing? Breakdown? Mental Break? Hicup? Wall? Exhaustion?!? Whatever it is...maybe I'm there. Ike is 3MO and it's been wonderful but I'm also having a hard time not being exhausted most days and just impatient and I have felt so extra busy lately?! I don't know. It's hard. It's really not. But it is.

I'm absolutely not complaining or really looking for advice OR pity. I think we moms have all felt this way before. Absolutely, blissfully HAPPY. But yet under&overwhelmed and sad&happy and tired but productive...like some days shit bothers me more than others?

Today sharing my bagel, after having made them ALL.THE.TOAST, almost had me in tears! But 10MIN later we're all building blocks together and I don't feel like putting them all in little individual dog crates - NOT that I've ever thought of that before or considered it;).

i may be 1 lost marker cap away from walking away from it all...or not. We'll see;). All I do know is that when you go into the docs office and they have you fill out that paperwork that asks if you cry a lot for no reason or feel sad or don't want to leave the house or think about doing weird stuff to your kids - like, let's say, putting them in little dog crates - you answer NO and say, "I'm fine:)".

Because, really...you are...I am:)

having said all that...by all means, chit chat with someone if you really DO want to put your kid in a tiny dog crate while you cry the day away. For real. No shame in that:).

Sunday, December 31, 2017

2017.

post by casey.

this was initially going to be a combined New Years/Resolutions/Goals post by BOTH Courts and I. But then I uploaded 50+ photos and booted her ass to another post;).

looking back at the last year, 2017...holy cow. I can take back any times that I wondered what we did to fill our days! Even while not traveling or camping or adventuring...our days were FULL!

i was going to include my hopes and dreams and goals for the coming year but I think I'll bombard you with that after the 1st:) After looking through all of last years photos, I'd just like to leave you with my breakdown of 2017.

i think it's impossible to say what will 'make a great year'. I could (and will;) tell you all my plans and hopes for 2018 but none of that will really matter on Dec. 31, 2018.

This year held travel and shopping and haircuts and road trips and family reunions and camping and things that took planning and coordinating and time away...but it included last minute beach days and lazy Sunday mornings and sprinklers in the yard and quiet camp fires and not so quiet camp fires and game nights with the family and birthday celebrations and early morning walks.

it's impossible to measure what makes a great year because mine and Jacobs solo trip to Tulum, Mexico is right up there with the Sunday night we spent at Courts', watching the kids wrestle and holding babies and standing around the island and Peyton's no-holds-back laugh/smile:).

our days and our years are what we make of them. I see a lot of the same in 2018. Phone calls with my mom. Random pop-ins by my dad. Coffee mornings with Courts. Late night grocery runs with Pigg. Vacation scheming with Mal. Concerts and sporting events for the kids. Date Days and hand holding and late-night-life-dreams with Jacob.

I can only hope for the mundane. For the expected. For the birthdays and hugs and fights and making-up. The diapers and exhaustion and sleepless nights and 1st days of school and broken toys and markers on the wall and flowers at the table and candle burning and lights being hung and milk being spilled...whether it's a trip to Paris or Jacob letting me sleep-in on his one day off...I know 2018 is going to be pretty perfect:).

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

- Mary Oliver

The Smiths. 2017