post by casey.
i'll start by saying: He's OKAY:). We have a strong and healthy little chubby boy on our hands!
we - myself and Ike - spent 6 days in the hospital. Ike was diagnosed with RSV - Respiratory Syncytial Virus - and we were fortunate to get there when we did. He struggled with eating and breathing and we spent every one of the next 6 days getting him back on track. Each day that passed I thought, surely we'll be going home today!! And I think I did that every day for 6 days! The denial is strong with this one;).
while we were there my sisters and mom took over caring for Homer, Theo and Rocky. Getting Homer to and from school (he only got forgotten at school once, so I'd say we did pretty damn good;).
Jacob was out of town the first few days - because kids never get sick when it's convenient. We are just so so fortunate to have our family.
it's so good to have sisters that show up, even when you don't think you need them to. It's so good to have sisters that can sooth your baby as if he was their own. It's so good to have sisters that know a thing or 10 about some of the medical things and can be your ears when you immediatly zone out when a conversation about NICU comes up!:( It's SO good to have sisters who walk in without a word, take your baby - who's hooked to an IV and Oxygen - out of your arms so you can go to the bathroom and sob in the shower and come out with blood shot eyes and she says "nope, can't tell you've been crying...at.all;)".
it's so good to have sisters that show up, even when you don't think you need them to. It's so good to have sisters that can sooth your baby as if he was their own. It's so good to have sisters that know a thing or 10 about some of the medical things and can be your ears when you immediatly zone out when a conversation about NICU comes up!:( It's SO good to have sisters who walk in without a word, take your baby - who's hooked to an IV and Oxygen - out of your arms so you can go to the bathroom and sob in the shower and come out with blood shot eyes and she says "nope, can't tell you've been crying...at.all;)".
and I have parents who take your 3 kids to a tool show and buy them fishing poles and take them to visit their dad and drive them around the country-side to spot deer and bear and Homer even claims he spotted a Moose..right here in Central WI!!!;)
our family, friends and neighbors brought company and distraction, food and necessities, support and encouragement:). We have chosen to do life with the right people surrounding us.
some people - I'm looking at you Brooke and Monica Casey;) - are just caretakers. It's written deep within them to show up, even when you don't think you want or need them to:). I learned a lot from how they showed up for me and Ike and hope to put that example to use the next time it's not so obvious that someone else needs or hesitates to ask for help.
something else I learned through this experience, is that you can not compare your circumstances to others.
It's down right impossible to feel like your struggle is justified. You're struggling and then you think: someone else out there has it harder! Why can't I do this when so and so is so clearly in a worse situation!
My emotion and stress came from exhaustion. I knew Ike would be okay. But that didn't make it any less of a struggle. He was sad and sick. I missed my kids and my husband.
I think we don't give ourselves a fucking break or cut ourselves any slack...because you know, asking for help...accepting help...that would mean that we can't.do.it.all! And holy shit...god forbid we 'need' anything. Help doesn't mean weakness. But it sure feels like it sometimes.
ike is loved:)
adventures in FaceTiming;)
i'm not crying, you're crying!!!!;') - seeing/holding my other babies for the first time in 4-1/2 days.
Also. If this face/eyes/bags don't scream: NO SLEEP SINCE BROOKLYN 2012;)
Also. One of my favorite photos of all time:)
it took them 4 times to draw blood. I saw a different doctor/physician/nurse/huck/cna/respiratory therapist every couple hours. They interrupted our sleep every.damn.time. The shampoo sucked. I slept on a cot for 6 nights - something my soon-to-be 35yo body wasn't a huge fan of;).
But even after all that...I didn't get upset. I wasn't mad at anyone. The only time I came even close to throwing down with someone was with the Lunch Lady over how many pancakes she deemed TOO many. Bitch, do.not.test.me.
we're home and boy did it feel good to get home. But now it's 223AM and I'm struggling to get off hospital time;). Ike has adjusted well to not being poked and prodded every 27MIN:).
he was sent home a pound lighter than when we arrived and with an inhaler to be used for as long as this cough lasts. He's such a good boy. It was hard to see him not himself.
thank you guys. I know, had I shared this in real time, you would have all been so incredibly supportive.
Now...let's get this terrible season of illness behind us!!!!:)
