just a mom...who doesn't know how old her kids are.

post by Casey.



i've joined the ranks of 'those moms' that don't really know how old their kids are...let alone, their own age;). I'm embracing this time in our lives. 
"There they are...alive and an age:)." #BLESSED


okay...so it's been a minute since we've blogged...and I'm okay with that. I'm about 5 years behind on my photo books...pretty okay with that. I've missed a few months of the Traditional-Monthly-Orange-Chair-Photos of the kids anddddd I'm letting that wash over me as well. I'm a creature of habit, who is convinced they're FREE AS A BIRD!!!;) So the traditions I've set for myself are hard to let go of sometimes. But I'm trying to remember that it's quite possible these photos books I STRESSED about completing will be fished out of a flooded basement at some point;).
I'm finding my balance between being so so okay with things as they are but also choosing wisely what I should put some energy into. 


the last time I blogged we were just days away from finding out we were expecting our 5th baby! Man. Here we are 6 months later and we are stuck between no longer expecting that baby and still not expecting a baby. The last 6 months have been a pretty wild ride. Of course, now that we're on the other side of it..I feel fucking...different. I don't want to be dramatic...and maybe that entire miscarriage deserves a post of it's own someday...but it was heavy enough to put things into perspective. I've always felt pretty happy and content and just overall...good:). But by the end of that miscarriage things shifted and I've never before embraced the not knowing like I'm doing now. 
We want another baby so badly. But god damn...we're happy:). "It's going to be okay.":)

okay...Jacob's got a To-Do List longer than most for our Sunday at home...so I best wrap this up!!!
Here are the photos I DO have of our not-so-baby-babies:).

homer turned SEVEN in May!! He is still reading SO well. School has been great for him and he'll be heading into the 2nd Grade this Fall! He did Flag Football in the Spring - which he loved, has swim lessons in a few weeks and then a quick 3-hr Ninja Camp in late July! He's still a HUGE pain in my ass but his heart is so so good:).

theo turned FIVE in March!!! She's mostly disgusting and A LOT sweet but a total sass and we're working on just being nice to people in general. ARG!!;). She's still sucking her fingers and tooting all around the house. She loves horses and really nailed Preschool! Next up is Kindergarten in the Fall! She also just finished a little Gymnastics Camp and I'm so proud of how brave she was in going! She's also got swim lessons with Homer in a few weeks!

rockyP. rockkkkyyyyyyppppppppp. Luckily, I find him more cute than I find him frustrating because there's never a day or a time within every 1/2 hour that I'm not wondering: "WTFFFFFF ROCKKKKYYYYYPPPPP?!?!??!! WHYYYYYYYYY?????";). I've emailed several people about taking him off my hands for JUST 2 days a week and I'm having NO luck;). I love my crazy-boy so damn much!!!:)

ike has been sneaking around GROWING UP and of course I didn't realize this until I looked at these photos! GOOD LORD!!! Just in the last few months he decided to walk and jabber and become a Stage5 Clinger to mom! NO ONE BUT MOM WILL DO - he's even taken it a step further and decided to lose his shit if anyone even JOKES about taking mom away!!! Fun times;). Now that I've seen ALL of my other kids start favoring dad...I'm not taking for granted all the snuggles I'm getting because Mom will be discarded sooner or later;).

Ike still sucks his thumb. He sleeps like a champ. Eats like a bird. Loves the water. Hates anyone but Mom. Hates the sound of those hand dryers in bathrooms and tractors/machinery (they're currently redoing the road by our house - so that's been dumb;).

Ike Ewalt...you are a huge turd and we love you:).

Also...that buzz cut!!!! I know that no one but us would agree but after buzzing it...we agreed that it just doesn't suit him. Currently, growing it wayyyyy back out:):).

kids at various ages.

post by casey.

ike: 10 + 11 months and rockyp: 32, 33 + 34 months.

i think the last time I blogged about these boys, I put the wrong update? HERE I said I was posting Rocky at 32MO but really I didn't and SO here we are. 

HEY GUYYYYSSSSSSSS!!! Funny story...here it comes...wait for it...Remember that time I said I was gonna have all this time to blog?!. The end.;)

anyone else feel like summer flew?!?!? Didn't even break open that Target Dollar Section Lemonade Stand sign. Oops. 

PS. I've thrown all SUMMER BUCKET LISTS out the window in this house. I give anyone that makes one and then doesn't end the summer in a complete fucking panic, a virtual high-five. I've got goals and hopes and dreams for our summers but that damn list has brought more rush and force and slight annoyance than I'm willing to allow in my life!;). Buuuuuuuyyyyyeeeee.

so here we are, 1/2 way through October and...I feel great! We've hit a great stride! Those few weeks leading up to the start of the school year have me super rage-ey and hitting WAY below the belt in all those fights I'm allowing my 6YR old to manipulatively drag me into. But we're better now;).

we've been busy selling all.the.things and Jacob has come home and commented on how amazing it feels to walk in to the living room and find things missing;). The weight of all our 'things' was weighing us down far more than we realized! And honestly, I think we have FAR less than the average household but still...so so much. Minimizing has freed up space in the house AND in our heads and we're hanging onto that amazing feeling and continuing to downsize, downsize, downsize!!!

and less stuff means a lot less messes! The kids have only a few toys (still too many, in my opinion). Cleaning has been a breeze and so when I finish this blog post, the mess the kids make for me in the living room will be WAY less insane than it would have been a few weeks ago;).

okay, here are my old babies!:)

my precious baby boy is a week from his FIRST Birthday!!! I'm not even sad about it anymore. It's taken 4 kids to stop being so upset about the passing of the years. I mean...don't get me wrong, I'm still crying about it all.the.time. But today, right this minute...I'm okay.ish.

ike is pulling himself up next to things and looks to be following his older siblings in taking his time on the walking thing and I'm so down with that:). 

He's sleeping through the night. He's napping once a day. He's waving Bye. He's laughing and sometimes crying. And occasionally there's some head butting of the living room floor - soooo, it's clear he's mine;).

we stopped nursing a few weeks ago and that was both sad and natural. Like my last few babes, my body just slowed in producing and so we just gradually weaned and at times I wish we could just keep going and going and we could have had I tried to push it but 11+ months feels pretty great too. So there you have it:).

and then there's this...busy bee. Yeah...we'll stick to Busy Bee;). 

rockyp is trouble;). BUT I still find him SO freaking cute!!!! So after I get after him for coloring the tops of his feet in permanent marker while I make my bed, he comes and apologizes so cutely and of course I'm a sucker and believe him when he agrees to never do that again;).

it doesn't really seem like Rocky's been up to much?! He's less focused on learning to potty train and talking clearly and more concerned about taking a marker to my wall, shitting on my floor, spilling my coffee, dropping my computer, walking out in the rain with his socks on (and usually nothing else;), dropping a carton of eggs out of the fridge, tipping over my lamps, opening doors and not shutting them (and then me discovering this 30MIN later when I feel the cool breeze!!), calling 911, drinking straight out of my creamer, putting all my spoons under his pillow, knocking photos off the wall, ripping up Homer's homework, climbing ON the van, spraying me with the hose...while I'm reading a book...SHALL I GO ON!??!?!;).

jesus started creating Rockyp the minute he heard me, at 10years old, start saying to my parents: "I'm bored!". I see what you did there, Jesus;).

he gives me the biggest headache but honestly, I think he's created the softest part in my heart. I love this kid so damn much:).

me giving Rocky some 'direction' during our photo shoot - and in case you ever thought these were easy breezy;).

UP 16WKS in and 16MO out

DOWN 25WKS in and 25MO out (and clearly enthused about it;)

ike: 7, 8 + 9 months and rockyp: 30, 31 + 32 months

post by casey.



it's been 3 MONTHS since I've updated you on the kiddos! And in Baby-Land...Ike-World...that's entirely too long! He's a completely different person! I'm a completely different person! J/K. Same ol' me but since having to fill out those 8 pages of doctor questionnaires on what my 9mo is up to...I've changed...and not in a good way;). I know I've said it before BUT I'LL SAY IT A-FUCKING-GAIN. Those things are out-of-control.

- nope, not pulling himself up onto the couch and trash-talking with me through the Bachelorette.

- nope, hasn't quite figured out how to pick-up a cheerio with only his thumb AND pinky finger and then shoving those into the small top of a baby-safe bottle and then handing that bottle to me and asking for it back in Spanish and then pulling himself up on the couch WITH the bottle and trash-talking with me through the Bachelorette.

*it's Bachelorette Season and I'm into it. Sorry, not sorry;).

long-story-short. We've got him in classes now because he sucks.;)

now, here are some photos of my baby boys:). From these photos, you wouldn't know that there's anything wrong with them;). But based on that paper-work, we're gonna have to 'keep an eye on them';). I kid. They're perfect! Well...Ike is perfect...#thankgawdforikee;). Rocky on the other hand...he's caught somewhere between me still finding him COMPLETELY ADORABLEEEEEEEEEE. Gah. And literally being the worst...like duct tape his shoes on, duct tape his ass in a cart, duct tape his ears open (listening problem - hello?! anyone in there? not gonna stop? nothing?! k, thanks). 

you guys, I'm not gonna lie....Summer Vacation is...harddddd-ishhhhh?! Even I'm confused as to how I feel about it. Really. Ask me today, I think I'd agree that it's the BEST! Loving this weather. Loving having the kids home. Loving our time and adventures together. Ask me 12 hours from now...I might be mentioning that Summer Vacation can GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!;)

lots of caps. I apologize. I'm feeling things this morning;).

okay. PHOTOS OF THE KIDS!!!

so Ikeeeeeee, is basically perfection;). Love him. Love his soft body. Love his gummy smiles!!! No teeth yet. Still co-sleeping...which may be the longest we've had a baby in our bed but he's still doing great, so what the heck ever:). Sleeping is...?! Sometimes he has a great night...sometimes we don't sleep for days. With Summer Vacation, I've noticed that we're really not on ANY schedule. This fall, once the older 2 are in school, I hope to get him on a better napping schedule:). 

we're still nursing! Ike did have his first bites of food at about 9 months but we haven't really gone much further. Every now and again, IF we're having something easy with our meals (cottage cheese, scrambled eggs, yogurt, apple sauce), I'll give him a few bites. Or if we have those little pouches of baby food available, I'll help him with that a bit. But overall...I just love nursing him and we're in no hurry to have him fending for himself:).

ike is sitting by himself. He drags/crawls/moves all over the house! We're on constant watch for tiny bits of ANYTHING that he might find and put in his mouth. Since Theo had a 'choking incident' when she was about his age...I have some MAJOR stress about choking and so I'm always on the lookout for anything he might find.

he's just the best. Really:).

willb + ike

sitting up on his own but still a tad wobbly at times! Mom's always a hand away;).

rowdy + ike

and then there's RockyP!!! Like I said above...he's in this tiny little window of time where he does ALL the things wrong. Not listening. Getting into everything. Basically, follows behind me undoing my life. BUT his smile still melts me and even while wrecking anything he touches, somehow, I just can't be freaking mad at him! You seasoned moms out there know...this passes in the blink of an eye...so I'm trying to enjoy;).

it seems that overnight we can understand him! Even just a few weeks ago there was a lot of "huh?", "wtf???", "sure...I think?!" in response to his gibberish;). BUT now he's full of full sentences and stories and a LOT of it is making sense;).

he's a great cuddler! We've been blessed with THE.BEST.CUDDLERS! Good gracious!

rocky is still on his mattress on the floor, upstairs, with a baby-gate across his door. I did just find some metal frames to attach to the headboards I already have and so I'm excited to move some things around and set the kids up in rooms together again!
(currently they each have their own room but I think I'd like to put Theo and Homer back together and then Rocky and Ike will have their own rooms for a bit)

he pooped on the floor today. That's where we're at with potty training:).

i love this mischievous little shit so so much:).

rockyp + coy

why is your face like that.

for the love of GOD, just SMILE.

guys...they all look the fucking same.