Sunday, January 29, 2017

#the52project WEEK4

i have to admit...this is about to get annoying...but I'm thinking about going to be taking a wee bit of a 'break' from my phone/social media. And by 'wee'...I mean...a week-ish - which I'm ashamed to say, will probably be difficult for me;)
We have a family get-away planned for the end of next week and then Jacob and I will be headed on our quick vacation and so, of course, I'll probably jump back on to document and share some of that:)

facebook and the polllllliiiiiticcccssssss - I apologize for my part in sharing memes and articles and the like...I know it's been a long and annoying road on both sides and we have a ways to go...I'm gonna take a step back from that (mostly, cause I know how I feel but lack the knowledge to back it up). Any.hoo. Not only that...but I'm guilty of having my face in my phone...a.lot. I honestly think it's more of a crazy habit/addiction at this point?!...just.always.checking! Arg!
The plan is to delete these apps from my phone so that I'm not checking them constantly. In order to check-in, I'll have to jump on the computer...which I'm much less likely to do too often during the day. I deleted Facebook, Messenger, Pinterest, Etsy, Snapchat and Instagram from my phone. Which felt scary. Which means it needed to be done;)

i struggle to find balance and be present. Not think about the things that need to be done and plans that need to be made and taking a photo or video of what the kids are doing instead of just forgetting all of that and just staring at them or participating in what they're doing...engaging:)

and besides the battle with electronics and social media...having a somewhat tidy house makes me less stressed. And having plans set and bills paid makes me feel productive. And having photos or video of them to look back on after they've gone to bed, after one of those long days where nothing does get done and they scream and cry more than they smile and my 1YR old shits in his cloth diaper and my *almost* 3YR old refuses to shit in the potty and they nap for 40MIN instead of 3HRS and spill their milk and my 4YR old misses the toilet and the baby brings you a turd from his own diaper and they tell you you're no fun and scream for the computer...I need that photo...I need them in bed, quiet, and me looking at a moment that day that didn't suck. So I can be reminded of why I absolutely love them...and THIS...so damn much:)

this is all making me sound pretty stressed-out;) but honestly, I'm not. I enjoy my days and even though I love a clean house/well-behaved children/paid bills/home-cooked meals/lists and plans...more times than not, it doesn't bother me to put those things off.

orrrrrrr this could all be related to me having just did the math on how old I could, potentially, be if we wanted to have 6 kids (BIG if). It's older than I'd, personally, like to be while still having babies - 38. So I don't know...I'm feeling a bit defeated today and I diddddd eat a shit ton of Mac and Cheese at 1030PM last night and a bagel this morning...all of which I'm having some regrets about this afternoon;)

it's all going too fast for my liking and I don't want to make it all more blurry than it already feels. So...this is my attempt to slow things down a little bit:) 

i know it's damn-near impossible...but have you guys figured out a way to balance things a bit more? Are you on a strict schedule? Do you have brilliant rules on electronics usage? Fill a failure in!!!!!;) Share your secrets! Teach me your ways!!!;)

happy Sunday, guys! Thanks for tolerating my thought-puke. See you next week!


and the real reason you were tricked into coming to this post;)...


a portrait of my children, once a week(ish), every week(ish), in 2017
homer - watching Tayt play video games:)
Hair cut scheduled for tomorrow;)

theo - snoozing with her 'babies' and wearing her new sweater
Found at Target for $5:)

rockyp - rarely unhappy but maybe his knees and legs hurt from being drug around on the floor?!;)
Going on 15MO and still not walking:)
Hair cut scheduled for tomorrow;)

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