Thursday, July 7, 2016

be the change...

"be the change that you wish to see in the world." 
- Ghandi

we lost a friend, 15 years ago, today. I think I've felt other people's losses a bit deeper since then. Because you know what that phone call is like. And the days following and just the grief and the questions. And then as you get older and the years becomes easier to live with the loss've also lived. And so that brings on questions in regards to where they would be in their life. And if they weren't gone, where would we be in our life. 

it's not only this specific day because we think of him much more than that. In the days leading up to this day, every year, it's like my mind senses it...even if I've forgotten it's approaching, I'll find myself crying myself to sleep and then looking at the calendar and realize we're 2 days from...the day.
Seems silly to feel this way when his parents and siblings are out there, feeling this day in a way that I hope to never understand:(

i absolutely think these years and especially, my 30's, have brought on a new sense of life. I care more. I want more - not a new couch;) but this life for my family and children. I want to know better, in order to be better and do better. 

my point in sharing this, is that we miss our friend. And we wish he were here. But some days 'here' seems like such a sad place to be. Another cancer diagnosis. Another senseless murder. More loss. 
I hate feeling scared. But I am.

so to the 10 people reading this...wouldn't it be great if even just the 10 of us did a little better today???

what do you say, 10 people/friends/strangers? Can we do some good today?


  1. Love you, love this! Beautiful advise! Always thinking of you, always missing you #72😞

  2. 15 years already. Great writing. God blessed you with words. :-)

  3. You are wise beyond your years and so introspective. You always make every minute of every day count. In a big way.You love life and I love you so much Casey Mae.