Friday, December 15, 2017

just your typical, fake mom.

post by casey.



guys. Whyyyyyyyyyy.

nothing good starts with: Soooooo, I saw this thing on Pinterest.
I'll let the photos do someeeee of the talking.






i've been in a funk this last week. It started with having several dreams of an old friend of ours that died - will the D-word always take my breath away?! - many years ago. I guess I feel fortunate that he still visits me. Not sure where you stand on such things and I'm neither saying I believe that he's 'visiting' me or that it's all my subconscious...but it always seems quite random. I think of him often, regardless. But man. Those dreams still knock me on my ass for a few days.
I'm sure I never mentioned but after he was gone, I wrote in journals a lot. I struggled, big time. I've since gotten rid of them all. No regrets there, I needed to let go. BUT I used to sign all of my passages with PBIMDT. Please Be In My Dreams Tonight.
Man. I miss that kid.

okayyyyyy...so this little project...that took twice as long to set-up: me cutting the shape of a Christmas Tree out of a tiny cork:/...well, it took me all of 10sec to realize it wasn't gonna work and all of 7min for the kids to have their hands and mouths and part of my floor, covered in black paint.

this project was the actual physical mess that has been my feelings all week. Therapeutic, really;). I did dishes while they thought they were creating art;).



i also just ate a bowl of Mac&Chs, quickly, while my 2mo old screamed. I never thought Mac&Chs could get less satisfying. Mission accomplished.


so Jacob's been working for over 2wks straight. Every day. For more than 2wks. In.A.Row. Last night he didn't get home until 1130PM. Tonight he hopes to be home by 7PM. I've been watching kids all week and have a hair appt. tonight and a Date Day on the horizon...I'm in desperate need of a shower and my clothes don't fit and...my back actually hurts from shoveling snow and I forgot to start the coffee - 2nd pot of the day...it's1242PM.


i shared this quote on Instagram yesterday and it still feels really good to read.

"Meaning and purpose don't come in the forms of great accomplishments or undertakings. Rather they reveal themselves on some randomly idle weekday morning when you realize how much you love someone or that you're doing all you can with what you can carry in the place you are with the time you have with what you care about." 
- Victoria Erickson


so this week hasn't been the best but it certainly hasn't been the worst. I spent time with my nieces and nephews. My husband has worked hard all day, everyday and then came home and worked hard to give me a break. I have a baby to cuddle. And I saw an old friend, even if only in my dreams.

happy weekend, friends:)

4 comments:

  1. Casey,I feel privileged to walk with you through your day to day, you are such an expressive writer. You are lucky to have visitations from your friend,one day the sadness will abate and you'll be left with a feeling of peace.
    I love you Casey May.(sp.?)

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    1. Just getting to these comments! Thank you, Vicki! I love you as well, of course;). I actually flew down to CHI to visit you and Uncle Ted not long after I lost my friend and you encouraged me to journal and then maybe to burn those journals at some point for closure. It was all needed:) THANK YOU:)

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  2. hard to believe it's been so long. we sure miss him. saddens me that I can no longer remember his laugh when he would laugh at your craziness. but I'll forever remember the smile on his face when he looked at you. gosh, I miss that kid.

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    1. Ah, you remember...cause I remember. It's hard but it's still there:)

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