da Brown's:)

post by casey.



we knew going into the summer, that it wasn't likely we'd take any bigger trips or overnight getaways - minus our Christmas in the Dells...which seems like a lifetime ago:(...and I guess we did do a quick trip to CHI, as well:)
Jacob is SO busy in the summer months, catering. And since the sale of the 2nd house, we're trying to behave and finish up the last of our debt so we can move on with our lives, debt-free!!!!

and because Jacob misses out on all the fun and love and sun and chaos and also those fits due to missed naps at the lake and spankings and timeouts and breakdowns and accidental baby heads to my nose...I like to keep him in the loop by sending him everything I'm thinking cause I don't want him to forget what an emotional roller coaster I'm on. Daily. 

Daily Texts (authentic - pulled straight from my phone!!:)

"i should call a real-estate agent and see how much we can get for the house and sell it and then we'll build..." - after binge watching Chip & Joanna, Fixer Upper

"Dave Ramsey says we can only afford a $400 mortgage. That's what we should be paying for our mortgage. That is fucking REAL!!!!!!!"

"dad says that people drywall their houses cause that's actually the cheapest option. And even THAT is so fucking expensive."

"we literally can not afford a not done house or a new house or drywall."

"I just fed the kids PB&J...on fucking English Muffins. - poor"

"I miss you something fierce."

"where's a level?"

"where's a paint tray?"

"hi:)"

'when will you be homeeeeeeeee???:((((????" - 237PM 

"how big is our TV?"

"is the TV too heavy for me and a woman to carry to her car? Will it fit in the back of a car?"

"Oh, I sold our TV"

"Can I go to Target??????"

"D ran a fucking way. AGAIN!!!!!"

"it'd be great if your check was a million dollars on Wednesday:)"

"cops called. Found D!!!!!!:::::/"

"I'm glad you're mine:)"

surprisingly, these are normally pretty one-sided conversations;)

SO here's a little trip we took to visit friends in June. Courts' family has made this an annual adventure but this was our first year - minus Jacob...Jacob, who?;) - staying the night on their property and hitting up the splash-pad and doing a little camping:)

perfect day for the splash pad!:)

my suit: Old Navy

I don't see it on their site but it was on super sale, in-store, earlier this summer

*the trace of side-boob was not for the purpose of catching the eye of the dad's at the splash pad but strictly for nursing access;)*

same goes for Rocky's suit: Old Navy (the in-store availability/sale price, not the side-boob;)

one of my favorite things: coffee and breakfast outside, on a warm summer day:)

the kids have been getting really good at sleeping with me on these little get-aways. Squeezing into one bed or part of the floor could be disastrous but they have been real troopers:) And it's just nice to not sit home all weekend and feel 'stuck' in the house...so we split the cost of food and meal prep and have gotten a pretty good system in place for an inexpensive weekend away:)

thank you for having us, Brown's! See ya next year:)

theo daisy: 26/27 months and rocky peyton: 7/8 months

not to toot my own horn...but even after 3 babies, I've been able to stay relatively close to the top of my game in regards to all those milestones that no one but myself cares about;)
Like the little notebook for each of them that I wrote in leading up to their birth and then write in several times a year - well, several times a year for Homer...a fewwww times for Theo and then I forgot to write in Rocky's until he was over 2 months old;)

those monthly photos. PHEW. Those months fly by and so sometimes Rocky's photos get done closer to the end of the month then near the beginning when his actual 'birthday' is. 

i haven't started Rocky on solids yet - for GOD'S SAKE...do not tell his pediatrician;). Homer was started AT 6 months and we had made our own baby food with organic fruits and veggies. Theo about 7 months and a mix of homemade and store bought (organic, of course...we're not monsters!!!;). 
I'm hoping that by the time Rocky does start eating something other than boob, I'll have some time in my life to write that shit down in his baby book - not likely.;)

now that I think about it...I haven't finished our 2015 Book or Theo's 1st Year Book and am starting to regret having started that annual undertaking because now I'm stressed about MISSING A YEAR. WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I MISS A YEAR!??!!?!?!?!. 

anddddd, more importantly, I'm only slightly sure of the whereabouts of 2 of the 3 kids at this very moment.

#winning???

Homer's Baby Book: the first day I felt you move in my tummy. Every doc appointment and how I 'felt' that day and who came with and how much I weighed and whether there were clouds in the sky!!!!! Contractions timed and recorded. Who visited in the hospital and what they brought/gifts. 1st photo of you out in the fresh air as we left the hospital. Monthly updates and all those firsts. All.Of.THEM.

Theo's Baby Book: we're pregnantttttt. Only kept track of weight gain during pregnancy because I was sure it wasn't possible to gain as much as I had the first time - it was possible;). Whoa, we had you a little quicker than Homer but got a few details of the day. A few firsts recorded as well as those monthly photos. 

Rocky's Baby Book: Sooooo Natural Family Planning ain't our thang'. WE'RE PREGNANT!!! Damn near birthed you in Target. That was fun;) Anddddd you're 2 months old.

one of the best - and slightly awful;( - things about having 3 babies, is the fact that you just don't have as much time to sit down and get emotional about how old they're getting or how much time is passing because you're sitting down getting emotional about one of them just taking permanent marker to that $600 swivel-rocking-chair you splurged on during those 7 weeks she never slept - in your sleep-deprived state you thought a chair would actually help - MANIC LAUGHING...like she would let you sit?!?!??!?! Going to the bank and asking for $600 in $1 bills to use to wipe up her excessive puking would have been a better investment...

where was I???

oh, yeah. SO if you have a few baby books laying around with more empty pages than full, just remember that your future daughter/son-in-law will probably think you're an asshole anyways and the last thing they'll care about is when their spouse took their first dump on the potty;)

Note To Self: find out when Jacob took his first dump on the potty.


so here we are, playing catch-up. 

these 2 photos are the definition of: THEO DAISY

me just out of shot, about to throw myself at him to avoid having him fall off the chair;)

one and only question during an interview with RockyP:

what's it like to be the happiest/best/most perfect baby in the history of ever? TELL ME, DAMN IT!!!!;)

be the change...

"be the change that you wish to see in the world." 

- Ghandi

we lost a friend, 15 years ago, today. I think I've felt other people's losses a bit deeper since then. Because you know what that phone call is like. And the days following and just the grief and the questions. And then as you get older and the years pass...it becomes easier to live with the loss but...you've also lived. And so that brings on questions in regards to where they would be in their life. And if they weren't gone, where would we be in our life. 

it's not only this specific day because we think of him much more than that. In the days leading up to this day, every year, it's like my mind senses it...even if I've forgotten it's approaching, I'll find myself crying myself to sleep and then looking at the calendar and realize we're 2 days from...the day.

Seems silly to feel this way when his parents and siblings are out there, feeling this day in a way that I hope to never understand:(

i absolutely think these years and especially, my 30's, have brought on a new sense of life. I care more. I want more - not a new couch;) but this life for my family and children. I want to know better, in order to be better and do better. 

my point in sharing this, is that we miss our friend. And we wish he were here. But some days 'here' seems like such a sad place to be. Another cancer diagnosis. Another senseless murder. More loss. 

I hate feeling scared. But I am.

so to the 10 people reading this...wouldn't it be great if even just the 10 of us did a little better today???

what do you say, 10 people/friends/strangers? Can we do some good today?