Spirit-led 2023

I thrifted these little doilies recently…how is this the first time I’ve thrifted doilies?! I’m in love:).

Jacob brought home a Milwaukee (the tool, for those unfamiliar;) onesie for Evan:).

Still trying to make headway on all.the.things. Wanting to be a minimalist but having a hard time parting with some of the things:/. I think what I’ve figured out is that if I have things that I feel are worth selling…if I at least put the effort into tryinggggg to sell them - and then they don’t sell - I feel less bad about donating them;). SO…slowly but surely!

Our house is colddddd…not AS cold if it’s not windy or below 20;). We’re still waiting for things to fall together in order to replace the roof, windows + siding…considering this a character building time for all of us;).

It might be time I get a travel mug that I love;).

I finished my 15th book of the year and it was a good one: Chasing Slow, Erin Loechner

Besides being physically ill - all of us - I’ve been struggling mentally and that could be a full blog post of its own. But I’ll share some of what I’ve been clinging to:

My heart was saying, “Lord, take away this longing or give me that for which I long.” The Lord was answering, “I must teach you to long for something better.”

- Elizabeth Elliot

But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread Your protection over them, what all who love Your name may be filled with joy. For You bless the godly, O Lord; You surround them with your shield of love.

- Psalm 5:11-12

There’s no place I could go Your love won’t find me. No place I could hide that You can’t see. No place I could fall Your love wouldn’t catch me. You see it all, You see it all, You’re in everything; You’re all around me. When I withdraw still You pursue. When I’m misunderstood Your love understands me.

“You couldn’t relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole - like the world, or the person you loved.”

- Novelist, Stewart O’Nan

And I won’t leave you hanging with this vague - I’m struggling and sharing a photo crying - without a bit of an explanation. Honestly, it’s hard to sum up. Or maybe it is. It’s not some big event or tragedy - thank God. And honestly, that’s layered…because when I feel bad? depressed?…and I realize that nothing ‘bad’ has actually caused these feelings…I feel a bit worse for struggling when there are people with legitimate struggles. Perspective usually helps but these last few weeks, I think the combination of pretty normal hormones and life and 6 kids and sleep deprivation and a husband working around the clock (we’re so lucky he has a job!) and bills and all the Christmas things (which I do love!) - and I’m trying to finish this thought while Rocky insists I guess what his favorite song is and Theo is listing off which songs they’re singing for Christmas Eve Mass tomorrow and Mae is opening string cheese and throwing the wrappers on the floor and Ike is crying because he wants cereal but I need to do the dishes because nothing is clean to eat off and they’re eating chips on the couch even after I’ve told them twice not to eat chips on the couch…

I want to be enjoying it all and I’m feeling hyper aware these days, of how quickly these days are going and how I get to do this once and I’m failing (not entirely but I could be doing better, that’s just the truth) and I’m angry and then I’m angry that I’m spending any of this precious time angry and being unkind to my kids and my husband…oof. The vicious cycle I’ve created. SO…yeahhhh *awkward/crickets/vulnerability regret* is setting in;).

Someone I follow on Instagram is doing a Spirit-Led 2023. I liked that. I want to be on my knees in 2023 - giving it up but not giving up…handing it over. Trusting. ‘Doing the next right thing’…I may not have the answers but I know who does and He seems to always keep it simple, where as I like to overcomplicate things:).

“You will not be left with less for choosing to rest in His providence instead of panicking, doubting, and orchestrating.”

- Sarah Erickson

And one that makes me cry every time…

I asked God “why do you still love me, why after all the things I’ve done you still want my heart?” He answered me “I made you for me. And as long as you let me, I will save you from yourself.”

…I will save you from yourself.

And a hard pivot to animal hair…;). 

We’re committed to animals but the hairrrrrr…goodness…the.hair😳😩.

More chalk art. Theo's holding the hand of her creation;).

Willy is Rocky’s creation, obviously;).

Today's Listen: We’re All Jess Trying To Get By

Not sure what it was about this episode but it had me in tears multiple times - could have been Doug’s laid back demeanor;) OR just how dang lucky this guy is to be alive!!…likely a mix of that and where I’m at in my life:). Finding perspective in crappy situations and also owning your choices and knowing that you can contribute/put in the work/make the choice to truly change the outcome of your life and health. What is it that they say…it’s not always easy but the answer is usually pretty simple. Anyway…this family just really encourages/inspires me:).

Okay. I’m not sure if that works better…sharing a bunch of choppy/random thoughts - kinda how my mind works, anyway. Or trying to string it all together in a long blog post. Regardless. This is today - the last few days. Today…we’ll see:).