he's five.

post by casey.

oh my gosh...I love him:)

this comes from a place of love...but at this very moment (and for the last 2 weeks)...I'm READY for him to start school!!!!

homer turned 5 on May8th!! Let the record state that since before his 1st birthday - see HERE - I've been recording entires in a journal for him, about how sassy he is. He's still sassy;). But along with being somewhat of a handful, I'm showered with love from this kid all.day.long. It takes a toll on my mental health but this kid ends every day with a hug and kiss (and sometimes a headstand in bed;) and begins every day with a morning hug. I'm very fortunate that besides being a pretty consistent jerk...he's so incredibly loving and kind. Lets hope that all works itself out into a very passionate and kind and generous young man someday;)

the Sunday before Homer's birthday we had everyone over for, what's turning out to be, a traditional Breakfast-For-Dinner Dinner:)

the day of his birthday, Jacob took off work early so we could take him to dinner, Target to pick out a birthday gift (he chose a huge Nerf Gun:) and then the movies! Hi, Date Nights with your kids can get pricey!!!!! Luckily, we had planned ahead and I also had Gift Certificates to use at the movies. PHEW!!!

we had dinner at Applebee's, mainly because they sing you Happy Birthday.

We forgot to request that they sing Homer Happy Birthday...oops;). It was still a great time, we rarely get one-on-one time with the kids...together!

And the food was so so good:)

Let's Hug It Out t-shirt that Courts got Homer for his Birthday:)

we saw Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2

It was great and Homer (we all:) loved it:)

and now just a few random photos of the days following his birthday...where no photo would be complete without the massive Nerf Gun and/or Darth Vader Hoodie he got from Aunt Pigg:)

and now, if you're up for it, a longgggg and emotional - only for me;) - trip down memory lane...brought to you by my brillianttttt idea to start a blog...where I can spend hours in bed at night, reminiscing and crying and crying and reminiscing;)

Homer's Birthdays:

ONE - TWO - THREE - FOUR

a few things: apparently, we didn't get a 1YR photo in the chair! CRAP:( And honestly, with the 24MO thing - how embarrassing:/...eventually, I'm gonna photoshop that into 2YRS. First Time Mom crap;)

17+18 of 52

post by Courtney

spring has put me more and more behind. that or procrastination. you faithful followers probably tire of reading how lazy I am. so sorry! combining weeks 17 and 18... if I'm even correct on that, I'm not sure!

a portrait of my children, once a week(ish), every week(ish), in 2017

breakfast

baby duty

her face

that smile

sick day

this child. she's a character.

grandpa strikes again

he's been in my bed quite often come morning. and I don't mind one bit.

unless he's hungry or super tired, this is his face

giving up alcohol.

post by casey.

today is pretty significant for a few reasons.

number1, being that Homer is five. And that feels like such a big deal...way bigger and involving more tears (for me;') than any of those previous birthdays. I'll get more into that when I cry over the keyboard in a few days, uploading a birthday post for our boy:(

but something else that today marks, is 1 full year of sobriety for me. Not one drop of alcohol in a full year - which I don't normally feel like is thattttt big of a deal but then when it comes up...people are pretty shocked/impressed/confused;)! 365 days. 1/2 of those being hot summer days. More than a few campfires. A wedding reception - A New Years Eve wedding reception...you guyssss;/. Awful/exhausting days with the kids. Wine Nights with the girls. Mondays...Tuesdays...Saturdays...Sunday Fun Days - ALL THE DAYS;). A concert! A 34th birthday. A beach vacation in Mexico with my husbanddddd....with a FREE Happy Hour!!!!! 
It wasn't easy...and seriously, I STILL chew my fucking finger nails. I can't.stop.chewing.them! But quitting alcohol cold turkey...done;)

without getting too deep into the complexities of my relationship with alcohol...I'll just say that I used to drink a lot, all the time. And then I got better and I didn't drink as often but when I did drink, I drank a lot. It was hard on Jacob, mostly. He dealt with my heavy drinking in our early 20's. And even though I was in a much better place when we got back together for good...I still had a little ways to go:)
And my apologies to my friends for the awful friend I must have been during those early days and also, you're welcome for some prettyyyyyy amazing dirt to hold over my head...foreverrrrrr. In all seriousness...I made some awful decisions and am so glad I didn't hurt anyone or myself back in those days:/.

it seems kinda ridiculous when I read back through this or say 'sober' or 'sobriety'. I wouldn't have classified myself as an Alcoholic - cause if I'm an alcoholic...well, then...most of WI would fall into that category, unfortunately. I think mostly, I used it to cope and I never got to enjoy those few good thing(s) about alcohol. YES, I do believe it's not all bad!:) But I think for me...I kinda ruined my chance to just enjoy 'a few'. 

i'll mostly miss having a drink with Jacob around the fire after we put the kids to bed. Or sharing a Long Island Ice Tea at Buffalo Wild Wings. Or a beer in the back yard at Pigg's after picking up sticks all afternoon. Or margaritas on a hot summer day, with my sisters, while the kids play on the slip n' slide. Or that glass of wine in the tub after a long.ass.day.

and thinking about all those future drinks I'll be passing up. All those future vacations that we'll take that won't include a beer around the campfire, after the kids are tucked into the RV for the night and we're staring at the stars in Yellowstone:) Or sharing a bottle of wine on the grass beneath the Eiffel Tower for our 10YR anniversary getaway - also, just got lost on that site for a good 20MIN and then Expedia to check flight prices to Paris...currently: over $1K...gahhhh;). 

i never miss it socially...at the bar or in large groups. I honestly, don't even miss it on Wine Nights with the girls - they're company is more than enough:). I never miss it outside those quiet times, mostly with Jacob:)

the day I told Jacob - May 8th, 2016 - that I was thinking I might stop drinking...and I wasn't sure what that looked like going forward...but that I thought, for me, I needed to stop...for a substantial amount of time...Jacob looked at me and said: "That makes me so happy, I could cry." - he was serious:( I'm the most thankful that he's always been able to express how he feels about things and that he did in that moment because honestly, had he not said that or reacted that way...I'm not sure I would have wanted to commit as seriously as I have/do. 

*and I should mention that he quit as well. A show of support, I suppose:) I didn't ask him to do that and it wasn't at all necessary, Jacob's never been much of a drinker but I'm happy to be doing this together:) - he did have one drink, unknowingly, when our nephew filled his coffee cup with Kessler...jokester;).

it's gotten easier and going forward...I imagine it coming up in conversation and my response being that I haven't drank in 2YRS...5YRS...and so on. But Jacob and I have agreed that we'd take things as they come and for now, I don't drink...but maybe a trip to Paris would be enough to pull me out of my drinking 'retirement'...at least for an afternoon glass of wine:)

those faces up there, though...I mean...alcohol was such a distraction for me and most people don't leave the house worrying about how much they'll drink or not drinking too much or feeling stressed about doing something stupid...I didn't feel like that was normal. It's helped to clear my head:)

so I stopped drinking alcohol, cold turkey, a year ago. I haven't had a drop since. I'm really glad I did that:)


now if you made it through all that...you deserve a drink;)

#the52project Week18

post by casey.

the weather is reallllyyyy starting to warm up around here and we're enjoying so many walks and I've even gotten a few opportunities to expose my newly pregnant - and very white thighs - to the world, again;) And I've pushed mowed the lawn - which I love doing but rarely can because...kids...and we've made promises to not make any TO DO LISTS for this summer! Of course, a clean-ish house and paying bills and maybe doing some camping and a lot of walking/hiking and spending an obscene amount of time at the beach/pool and read some books outside in the sun during nap times...we've got plans but we don't want to have expectations of things that *must* be done - especially, house/fixer-upper related. This summer...we chill:)

the other day me and the kids went to the park and on this rare occasion, they played nicely, which allowed me to start a book - The Magic Of Motherhood by Ashlee Gadd - and the sun was shining and it was just what I needed to remind me that I don't need to be planning our next vacation - although, it's mighty fun to be doing that:), or what project I'd like to start/finish or what our lives will look like next year or next month or next week, I don't needdddd to be thinking about much more than how happy I am right this moment:)

here's to slowing down:) - another great book, I recommend to everyone (which I started and finished on our 3 day trip to Tulum, post HERE) - Chasing Slow by Erin Loechner. So so good:)

my good stuff: hot showers after Jacob gets home from work...which allow me to lock the door (me on one side, children on the other;). waiting on the arrival of a new shirt in the mail:) the arrival of a baby bump:)

 a portrait of my children, once a week(ish), every week(ish), in 2017

homer - when we leave for our walk in the mornings, it's still pretty cold...but by the time we head home...some of us aren't wearing shirts;)

theo - the sass is strong with this child...representing May the 4th with her Yoda sweater:)

rockyp - being adorable...I may rush him in to have his eyes checked, in hopes that he'll need glasses (kidding BUT he could totally pull this off!!!!;).

sixteen weeks.

post by casey.

oh my gosh you guys, I'm pretty much the most excited to be back at this again:) I've said it a million 3 times before;) and maybeeeeee I'll drug Jacob get to do it again someday;)...but this is just fun and I love it and it's not just the babies...it's the trying and the test and that POSITIVE and that anticipation and the pregnancy and the appointments and all that weighttttt fooooddddd!!!! and then the birth and then that BABY!!!!:)

don't get me wrong...I sometimes get a little mad at myself for my lack of self-control in the weight-gain department. And I've started to have some slight back issues with the last 2 pregnancies (Rocky's and now it seems this one as well, but it's short lived, thankfully!). And you get tired and you get a bit feisty/HANGRY at times and there are just not-so-magical days. And I get a little nervous about the lack of sleep to come. Sure. Yes. That happens. Overall though...OH MY GOSH YOU GUYSSSSSSSS. I love it!!!!!!!!!

why haven't we been twinning for the last 3YRS?! What was I thinkingggggg!!!!???

i don't know that I'll do much of the details...like I used to - see example here. Like listing specifics and being completely obnoxious;) or anything. I'll just mention things as they come up. 

we're right on track for our usual 55lb+ weight-gain - one of the few times in my life I've been an overachiever. I'm feeling great. After our Zika testing - long story, as short as possible - we were tested twice cause Hey, Let's go to Mexico...where there's ZIKA...while we're pregnant:/. I don't know why we didn't think of this:( Both tests came back negative (one at 6WKS and the next at about 12WKS). I was about 14WKS before we got all the negative results back...and I have to tell you...stressed was a complete understatement. Like 'stressed' how you call your sister at work...and you're crying so hard cause you just can't stand waiting any longer to hear if your baby is okay and you forget to lead with your name...just sobs into the phone. Luckily, she doesn't have a long list of people in her life that feel comfortable calling her, bawling, at work and somewhere in that mess she deciphered the word Zika and figured it out;)  

since the miscarriage, those first 10WKS are stressful enough...you kinda try to not think about the baby. Not talk about the baby. Just put it out of your mind...JUST IN CASE. There's this disconnect. And then having to worry about the health of the baby for all those weeks...I was so ready to just be happy and excited and I just wanted to have those results and move forward. Not to mention, Jacob was feeling completely helpless but was, as always, insanely supportive:)

we have our negative results and I'm feeling assured that things are going to be okay. We also have our 'big' U/S in 3WKS and I'm anxious to get in there and seeeeeeee a healthy baby:)

we're finally feeling excited and happy and just...so so happy about this baby:)

it needs to be noted that I have gotten my leg stuck in those holes one too many times, while putting them on...then stretching/ripping the holes even more...and they're now stretched to the point where...there's more leg showing than actual denim. Are they capris...are they shorts...are they convertible capris....Damn it!!!!

i'll add that I thinkkkkk it's a GIRL! Like...I hate to say it out loud - cause you ALL know my track record...I'm 0 for 3 at this point;). But Like for realllllll, I know it's a girl this time! 

i mean...maybe;)

also...I'll add some moreeee 'proof'. 

I felt like it was a girl the minute I peed on that stick. And then we found that ring on the beach - see story HERE. And I didn't add in that post that I had shared with the woman, who's ring we found, that we found out we were expecting on the way down to Tulum and that I thought it might be a girl! And if you read my post, you'll have read that the ring we found, that meant so much to her, was a gift she had received from her husband on her first Mother's Day after having their daughter:) The only baby they would have:) So me and that woman, who's ring I found on the beach...we both totallyyyyyy think it's a girl;) Jacob's playing video games. The end;)

thanks for following along! 

thanks for the photos, Courts!!!!:) Don't I look like I showered in these photos?!?!? I'm telling you...she's magic behind the camera...cause I'm for sure, daysssss unshowered;) - not sure why I'm givin' you the wink there cause it's just the truth...I wish I could give you the 'eeekkk/teeth' emoji in so many places in so many of my blog posts!!!;) Jacob even tried to 'talk' to me about showering. There's an emoji for that as well: 'middle finger';).

i'll report back in a few pounds weeks!!!!:)

#the52project Week17

post by casey.

it's May1 and it's snowing outside. Two things: 1/ the snow doesn't bother me because it will be gone by morning and it makes for a pretty Instagram video:) and 2/ am I the only one that doesn't understand the Justin Timberlake May meme???? - this feels embarrassing to admit, even though I have no clue what to be embarrassed about;/ FILL ME IN!!!!!;)

my good stuff: leaving Target with no purchases (except for the slushy baby girl got for AMAZING behavior:). grandpas turning 85:) windows where there once weren't.

 a portrait of my children, once a week(ish), every week(ish), in 2017

homer - we decided against an iPad of any kind for his birthday because he clearly has an addiction and we're not ready to deal with how many hiding places we'll have to come up with to keep him off another device;/

theo - my baby appointment buddy:) This was the best day!

rockyp - sporting his new tank top and a double chin;)

16 of 52

post by Courtney

a quick catch up post before I'm out the door to 'help' shoot a wedding. less help and more spectate professionals ;)

a portrait of my children, once a week(ish), every week(ish), in 2017

not interested in me

one of my best helpers

her first ladies MOA trip. she built a bear ;)

my snugglers. both actually sleeping.

currently obsessed with basketball

side eye game strong

diva

didn't have the heart to tell him where the eye holes were

stud