second trimester. time, slow down!

something about pregnancy makes the time go quicker for me. while I don't know what the future holds, and I really shouldn't say things out loud ...mostly for fear of everyone in our small town repeating them back to me a million times... "you like even numbers, right?!"   

I feel pretty content preparing myself with the idea of this being The Final Smith (not enough to use it as a blog post title though;). it better be a good one ;) all joking aside, we've been blessed. healthy pregnancies. smooth pregnancies. smooth deliveries. and healthy babies. I really couldn't ask for more! maybe more Starbucks while in the hospital... *wink*wink* sistasssss ;)

so here we are... half way through my second trimester and wishing time would slow down. although, it doesn't take a pregnancy for me to wish for that.

I don't get in front of the camera often so have to make it a point to have one of the kids or one of the sisters snap just a few quick photos of me. it also has to coincide with when I've showered... so Sundays for sure ;)

I'm a fairly boring pregnant woman. No complaints really... only to Dave ;) apparently pregnancy is good to me :) not really craving anything extraordinary. I like food. I like cookies. and ice cream. and Starbucks. I frequent the chiropractor often. Varicose veins have snuck up on me. My sisters like to point out my age so that's catching up with me as well. There was mention of AMA at one of my initial OB appointments. but there is no talk of that or my weight since ;) 

we don't share the gender, nor do we find out. and we don't share any names, although we've nearly run out of names... feel free to send any this way! the kids are pretty excited, kissing my belly often. Will asks if it's coming out... today... right now... ;)

mostly feeling tired and large and grateful I get to do this again. praying for a healthy baby!

many thanks to my photographer, Lia. who claimed to be James 2.0 and reminded me a lot of this popular video ;)

photos taken at 25wks. currently 26wks... give or take ;)

thirty-eight weeks.

post by Casey.

these might, DEFINITELY, be my fav maternity photos...OF all.time.

COURTNEY SMITH PHOTOGRAPHY

38WEEKKKKSSSSSS. It's about this time where it gets a tad more 'real' to me. I never feel too anxious about 'gettin' this thing outta me' or anything like that...more so, excited about the story, how it will begin, who we'll be meeting at the end of all of this:). 
I feel really good and so I'm really in NO hurry to get to the end. We've been very fortunate.

this is also about the time where I don't, so much, like people - see: strangers - looking at me;). I take great offense to stares that aren't followed up with "you look so great!" or "your 4th? NO, I don't believe it!! I retract my first statement and replace Great with UNBELIEVABLE!!!". JUST staring is, basically, unacceptable.

i'll also go for my walks after dark or in the peace and quiet of the very early mornings. NO, I'm not trying to 'get things started'. I'm a human, with another human in me...out walking my big body...like a normal human. STOP STARING AT ME!!!!;)

you guys. I've also gained LESS than 45lbs, so far! I mean...I can do a lot of damage in 2 weeks but this is a RECORD low for me! Diet-inducing-heatburn FOR.THE.WIN;).


i'm so exciteddddddd!!!!!!!!


jacob and I settled on 4 names. 2 girls and 2 boys. We've got a pretty clear idea of what direction we're going to go but we like to wait and see what the baby looks like - HA. Just kidding. If we did that, we'd probably name it: What's That White Stuff On His Face Smith. OR just the sound of me sobbing...we're  working out the spelling on that;).
Nahhhh, we just like to wait until the baby is here and we've always just had a feeling in that moment. Nothing really to do with what the baby looks like:).

so I'm hoping to be back with another round of photos and a 40WK update in 2WKS!:)
Really though, how did we get here already?!:(

also. My hair has changed colors (liking the lighter better) and grown a measly 2IN in 9MO. I'm annoyed.

all the beautiful photos, courtesy of Courtney Smith Photography.

thirty-four weeks.

you guys...we're 34.freaking.weeks.pregnant. A baby will come out.of.me in 6ISH-WEEKS. That's happening and I feel like, even though I've done this multiple times, I'm againnnnnn just being let in on those minor/painful details!!!!;)

to be completely honest (eeeekkkkkk), I had a prettyyyyyyyyyy - still going - yyyyyyyyy long-winded post drafted earlier. One in which I did a rather large dump of complaining about various ridiculous and petty things. See: My Face Is Fat. My Ass Is Even Fatter. The Bags Under My Eyes Are Eating My Fat Face. I'm Not Sleeping. I Have Reflux But Still Eat Hardees At 1130PM. Why Have I Gained 40LBS...So Far.

maybe it's the fact that my 'work day' with the kids - I've been babysitting the last few weeks and I gottaaaaaa say....I hate it;) - is over. Or that Jacob took Homer to work after school and they're making/bringing home dinner - I gottaaaaa say...I don't enjoy cooking;). OR maybe it being our 6YR Wedding Anniversary tomorrow has be feeling a bit brighter - even though all we have planned is an hour away from the kids to walk to Kwik Trip for hot chocolate...:).

regardless. I'm turning it around and that feels a hell of a lot better than what I was moaning and groaning about before. I mean...I still have my moments and I have my warranted and very much NOT warranted moments of complaints but I'm gonna lock that up today.

i've been having those 'moments' a tad more often over the last few weeks and I blame hormones, entirely. BUT it's hard to snap out of it. Some things that I've found to reallyyyyyy help: contributing somehow, making it about someone else, paying it forward, giving back!!! Unfortunately, we don't have the means to contribute too much financially and unfortunatelyyyyy, there are enough sad things happening around the globe that we could choose to give our attention to:( BUT over the last few weeks, I've found 3 different ways to 'give-back' and selfishly, it's really helped ME to feel better!!

1 throwing a small 'care package' together for an old friend who was going through a stressful time!:)

2 we donated $15 to a wonderful group of people that were purchasing and shipping much needed supplies for those affected by Hurricane Harvey!

- be sure to do your research on such things. For Example: if you're wanting to make a monetary donation, The Red Cross might not be the place to donate. From what we're hearing/reading, very little of what's donated actually ends up in the hands of those that need it most. Please correct me if I'm wrong!

3 i put together a bag of like-new clothes for a family that lost nearly all their belongings in the Montana Wildfires.

now, normally I'd go on a little online shopping binge while sitting in bed at 1130PM, surrounded by Hardees;). This felt better:)

so even though, some nights, these hormones (and reflux:/) have me crying myself to sleep because of a fat face and ass;) and the fear of the impending birth of this child and my OLD kids and lifeeeeeee and deathhhhhhhhh;)...there's always something that can be done to - as we tell the kids:) - 'turn it around'.

we're SOOOOOOO excited for this baby and MOST nights I definitely go to bed dreaming about what we'll name this little one - ohhhhh, we're close to some solid decisions on that front!!!:) - and what he/she will look like and how the birth will go and when and how it'll start and all those sleepless nights I'll be cuddled up nursing a little baby and on and on. Any of those down moments/days are beyond worth it:).

ALSO. I've started a Baby Pool and I'd be SO pumped if any of you wanted to join! Just comment with your guesses - comment here or on our FB Page! We need:

Date

Time

Sex

Weight

Length

We are collecting $1 per guess, winner takes all...so maybe you'd have to meet up with me to put in your dollar OR Paypal!?!? Let me know!!!:)

details that might help you make an educated guess:

Homer was born 4 days early - 104PM - 7lbs4oz - 20-1/2"

Theo was born right on time - 528AM - 8lbs12oz - 20-1/2"

Rocky was born 3 days late - 1045PM - 7lbs15oz - 21"

jean jacket: vintage/my moms:):)

slip dress: St. Vinnies - Marshfield, WI

boots: Goodwill- Marshfield, WI

i've gained 40LBS in the last 34WKS. Right on track in comparison to my last 3 pregnancies. I do feel like I gained it more...obviously??...this time, if that makes sense.

jacob has suggested and I've veto'd the names: Jasper and Juno. I really like those names but I like the names we have better...but I've said before...we're ALWAYS open to hearing more/new names! We go in with multiple options and keep ourselves open for anything right up until the end:).

If you have a favorite name you never got to use or one you just think we'll love...Please let us know!!!!:):) I'd love to hear them!!!

photos by Courtney Smith Photography

thirty weeks.

post by casey.

jacob and I got the chance to take a day away yesterday and it was magical! They always are:) We didn't do anything super exciting. Just a road-trip that included some work things for him and then wandering around an antique store - where I tried on every hat and Jacob gagged because...LICE!!!;), a great lunch and a stop at the adorable ice-cream parlor we took photos at on our wedding day, a cute coffee shop and a walk along the river and all the alone time, together, that I'd need to get me through another few months without that one-on-one time with my favorite guy. 

when I was checking-out at the antique store, the man checking me out asked how far along I was and so I told him we had about 2MO to go. And then he says: "is this your 1st? 2nd? 3rd?..."...And both Jacob and I looked at each other and I think that may have been the first time it REALLY hit us...this is 4. This is our 4th baby! The guy behind the counter started laughing because I think our sudden shock was kinda obvious!!!;)

we're just over 30WKS now!:) 10WKS - give or take - to go. 70 - ISH - days. I can't tell you how real it's starting to feel now! Even the 4th time around doesn't diminish how exciting and surprising and exhaustinggggg and EXCITING it all is, yet again:).

i'm feeling good. I'm gaining weight like it's my part-time job - I think we're inching close to that 35LB mark...yeahhhhhhh, I'm not playing';). I'm really just feeling happy and content and calm about it all. I'm so happy to have Jacob:). What we have and what we've made together - our relationship, specifically - has made all of this quite easy. Too easy, cause I just don't know how I'm ever gonna stop...besides Menopause;).

life is good and that's not to say there haven't been bumps in the road or this pregnancy or the wheel bearings on the Astro Van;). I get stressed and I cry a lot (happy and sad and exhausted and sentimental and overwhelmed tears...all the different tears;') and I eat my feelingssssss (all.of.the.feelings get ate with all.of.the.food;0). 

speaking of which...I'm hungryyyyyyy. OMG. I wish I had a Cinnabon. 2 Cinnabons!!!

and now some of the prettiest photos by Courts:) - Courtney Smith Photography.

twenty-five weeks.

post by casey.

we're 25WKS...ONLY 15WKS to go! That does Not seem like enough!!!! There's not a whole lot to report, seeing as I just did a quick update recently - see that HERE, if you missed it.

i'm still feeling really great and mostly in good spirits and even more mostly tired;). 

i did a bitttttt of shopping tonight at Old Navy...oh, my gosh...I found SO many things that I loved and so as soon as I got home I purged a bunch of stuff from my closet - check-out my InstaStories, HERE, to see everything I got!!!:).

And I do plan to sell a bunch of stuff over on Facebook at some point - maybe tomorrow while it storms!? So keep an eye out for some fun/inexpensive stuff to pop up on there!

i'm not sure what you do for maternity clothes but my mantra is to not purchase anything (if it can be helped) that won't work before/during AND after my pregnancy. I don't like investing money in things that will only be used for a short period of time. But maybe most people aren't 5 different sizes during their pregnancy - small, large, larger, extra-large and ginormous...in my experience;).

i'll hand it over to Jacob to add a little insight into our 4th pregnancy:

what do you want to add about our 4th baby, what are you thinking?

"mmmmm..."

anything you're excited about or scared about?

"ready to be out with the old and in with the new!!!;)"

what's your favorite part about the birth?

"ummmmm...my favorite part is right after it comes out. It's so crazy...there's so much going on!"

there you have it folks, 15WKS until it comes out and shit gets crazy;)

pants H&M

they're my regular size but just super stretchy (I'm definitely putting them to work!!;)

hat Chapel Hats at Mall Of America

i've bought several hats from this store and they're worth the investment!

also...these photooooossssss - thanks, Courts! All the heart eyes! We're not taking them too often but when we do, we're trying some different things:) And I was also so happy to get my hat out of the closet for the day - I loveeeee me a hat!! Having minimized my closet so much tonight has helped me to be reminded of all the stuff I have and love! Looking forward to taking some more photos in the coming weeks and sharing some more of my favorite looks!:)

1, slightly twisted kidney, is better than none.

hey 24WKS...this week I'm feeling like "we're ONLY at 24WKS?!?"...ask me tomorrow and I'll be in tears about how quickly we've gotten here;). 

i plan to have Courts take some photos next week - I'll be 25WKS and have a regular appointment and so I assume I'll be showered for ya;). But almost 2WKS ago we had an U/S and got some really fun photos of the baby and so I had my mom snap this one and I wanted to share a quick update, as well:)

our Ultrasound 2WKS ago was with a High Risk doctor - Maternal & Fetal Medicine. On our 18WK U/S, they found some concern with the kidneys. Since the whole Zika scare - you can read about that HERE - I was honestly not alarmed about the kidney stuff at.all. That seemed like small beans in comparison to a potentially, way bigger Zika issue. So we waited several weeks, until the baby was a bit bigger, to do a follow-up U/S at 22WKS.

long story short, the baby looks perfectly healthy - so SO incredibly thankful for that:). Seeing as they were already looking at things closely, they cleared us againnnnnn of any concerns of Zika and then after some time, they found that the right kidney seems to be lower than the left - but not too much lower - and has 2 arteries flowing to it, instead of one. So basically this baby is a Kidney Over Achiever;). 

the kidney is slightly twisted and so we'll have to continue to be followed by the High Risk doc, to make sure that it doesn't continue to twist. That is their main concern. If it continues twisting, that could cut off blood flow and that is where things would get tricky. We'll be going back in about 6WKS for another U/S in regards to this. And then after the baby is born, they may suggest that we follow-up to watch the baby's kidney progress and make sure there aren't any issues going forward...but that's all way too far into the future for me to think about now...I don't even know what I'm making the kids for lunch yet;).

other than all THATTTTT, this has been another snooze-fest of a pregnancy, in the BEST way possible!!!!:) I'm gaining the most.weight.ever. No surprise there. I think we're at 26LBS, so far. But I've also been staying pretty active...walking a lot, this week I started doing yoga and a few quick work-outs, push-mowing the lawn - which I really enjoy so much!!!:) Gives me a break from the kiddos and time to listen to a Podcast!!!. 

So I feel really great and yes, some days are hard...it's hard to gain a lot of weight and to watch your body changing so rapidly and I get it...most would be completely annoyed because I'm viewed as being on the thinner side of things anyways...but trust me, it's not about being 'fat'. It's just the change. Feeling out of breath just climbing the stairs. Having difficulty finding something to wear that makes me feel comfortable and like myself. You kinda lose yourself in pregnancy, just as you do in motherhood.

BUT good grief...hardly a complaint and growing a baby is pretty much my favorite thing to do and so yeah...all part of the hormonal/mental-fuck/MIND-BLOWING/incredible/HAPPIEST experience:):)

okay. So I had planned for 1 paragraph and yet here we are;). 

we're incredibly excited for this baby. For another baby. For a 4TH baby!!! Oh my gosh!!!:)

thanks for reading, friends:)

twenty weeks.

post by casey.

halfway there. 

jacob and I got away for a few hours a couple nights ago and across the table at Fazolis;), we talked about baby names and how excited we are for this dang baby anddddd how the moon and sun have been positioned in the sky - cause I'm married to someone who pays attention to such things:). 

i've been feeling so good and happy and excited and just not really too nervous or anxious about the idea of 'four'. I try to remind myself and Jacob, in the moments that it does get extra reallllll, that the sleepless nights go fast and the schedules change - Homer will be going to school this fall and so we'll have 2 nappers and a baby at home (DOABLE;). And everything changes all too quickly and one moment we'll be drowning in parenthood and the next...not as much:);). 

a few things: as good as I do feel...I feel huge and wish I could exercise a little self-control but unfortunately...I don't...and when I'm hungry...I eat. All.The.UNHEALTHY.Things;). On track to gain that 55lbs! I'm told it's rare to have a husband run to get you food at any hour of the day and so I consider myself lucky and full;). I have been trying to stay active and as much fun as a summer baby would have been this time around, it's easier for me to keep moving during a summer pregnancy:) 

I thinkkkkkk we already have our top 2 boy and top 2 girl names ready and we're excited about all of them! 

Still hearing a lot of people say that they think it's a girl and I agree:) 

Trying to grow my hair out so that I can get that top knot before the baby comes. I'm putting this out there: do NOT let me chop my hair after this baby. I always do and I always kindaaaaa regret it. That is all:)

Jacob felt the baby kick for the first time last night:)

kimono - Forever21

dress - old but similar HERE

photos by Courtney Smith Photography:)

sixteen weeks.

post by casey.

oh my gosh you guys, I'm pretty much the most excited to be back at this again:) I've said it a million 3 times before;) and maybeeeeee I'll drug Jacob get to do it again someday;)...but this is just fun and I love it and it's not just the babies...it's the trying and the test and that POSITIVE and that anticipation and the pregnancy and the appointments and all that weighttttt fooooddddd!!!! and then the birth and then that BABY!!!!:)

don't get me wrong...I sometimes get a little mad at myself for my lack of self-control in the weight-gain department. And I've started to have some slight back issues with the last 2 pregnancies (Rocky's and now it seems this one as well, but it's short lived, thankfully!). And you get tired and you get a bit feisty/HANGRY at times and there are just not-so-magical days. And I get a little nervous about the lack of sleep to come. Sure. Yes. That happens. Overall though...OH MY GOSH YOU GUYSSSSSSSS. I love it!!!!!!!!!

why haven't we been twinning for the last 3YRS?! What was I thinkingggggg!!!!???

i don't know that I'll do much of the details...like I used to - see example here. Like listing specifics and being completely obnoxious;) or anything. I'll just mention things as they come up. 

we're right on track for our usual 55lb+ weight-gain - one of the few times in my life I've been an overachiever. I'm feeling great. After our Zika testing - long story, as short as possible - we were tested twice cause Hey, Let's go to Mexico...where there's ZIKA...while we're pregnant:/. I don't know why we didn't think of this:( Both tests came back negative (one at 6WKS and the next at about 12WKS). I was about 14WKS before we got all the negative results back...and I have to tell you...stressed was a complete understatement. Like 'stressed' how you call your sister at work...and you're crying so hard cause you just can't stand waiting any longer to hear if your baby is okay and you forget to lead with your name...just sobs into the phone. Luckily, she doesn't have a long list of people in her life that feel comfortable calling her, bawling, at work and somewhere in that mess she deciphered the word Zika and figured it out;)  

since the miscarriage, those first 10WKS are stressful enough...you kinda try to not think about the baby. Not talk about the baby. Just put it out of your mind...JUST IN CASE. There's this disconnect. And then having to worry about the health of the baby for all those weeks...I was so ready to just be happy and excited and I just wanted to have those results and move forward. Not to mention, Jacob was feeling completely helpless but was, as always, insanely supportive:)

we have our negative results and I'm feeling assured that things are going to be okay. We also have our 'big' U/S in 3WKS and I'm anxious to get in there and seeeeeeee a healthy baby:)

we're finally feeling excited and happy and just...so so happy about this baby:)

it needs to be noted that I have gotten my leg stuck in those holes one too many times, while putting them on...then stretching/ripping the holes even more...and they're now stretched to the point where...there's more leg showing than actual denim. Are they capris...are they shorts...are they convertible capris....Damn it!!!!

i'll add that I thinkkkkk it's a GIRL! Like...I hate to say it out loud - cause you ALL know my track record...I'm 0 for 3 at this point;). But Like for realllllll, I know it's a girl this time! 

i mean...maybe;)

also...I'll add some moreeee 'proof'. 

I felt like it was a girl the minute I peed on that stick. And then we found that ring on the beach - see story HERE. And I didn't add in that post that I had shared with the woman, who's ring we found, that we found out we were expecting on the way down to Tulum and that I thought it might be a girl! And if you read my post, you'll have read that the ring we found, that meant so much to her, was a gift she had received from her husband on her first Mother's Day after having their daughter:) The only baby they would have:) So me and that woman, who's ring I found on the beach...we both totallyyyyyy think it's a girl;) Jacob's playing video games. The end;)

thanks for following along! 

thanks for the photos, Courts!!!!:) Don't I look like I showered in these photos?!?!? I'm telling you...she's magic behind the camera...cause I'm for sure, daysssss unshowered;) - not sure why I'm givin' you the wink there cause it's just the truth...I wish I could give you the 'eeekkk/teeth' emoji in so many places in so many of my blog posts!!!;) Jacob even tried to 'talk' to me about showering. There's an emoji for that as well: 'middle finger';).

i'll report back in a few pounds weeks!!!!:)