ready or really not...kindergarten:')

this week marked another FIRST for this mama...and Homer...and maybe the school?! Is there someone assigned to walk those moms home that are sending their 1st born to kindergarten and happennnnnn to be crying andddddd 34WKS pregnant?! Who's gonna raise up my other 2 while I have this breakdown!?;)

but for real. Day1 for me...pretty easy cause I was sweating balls trying to un-latch Homer from my leg and dry his tears and convince him that going to school, full-time, for the next 13+YRSSSSSS is the best.idea.ever:/. It's also gonna cost me a Target run (darn;) cause I got out my bag of bribes a little prematurely.

day2. Better for Homer - we had him walk to class with his cousin:). And there was talk of me filling empty Easter Eggs with 'prizes' that we'd video-tape him opening when he gets home?!;) Yeah...he spends noooooo time on YouTube, at.all;).

I watched him walk in holding his cousins hand and then I walked away, very pregnant, very out of breath, pushing a stroller with 2 other babies waiting on me...and I cried. The whole way home, I cried. 

i miss him. And if he were here he'd probably be in a freaking time-out, who am I kidding;). 

the other day I was actually looking through his baby book - I was looking to see if I had written down any baby names that may be some use to us now...there weren't any - and I had written him a little note prior to his brith. I said that I could hardly imagine the time going by and him being born and here and in my arms...let alone 5YRS old and going to Kindergarten. And yet...here we are.

time is..."...too short for those who rejoice...". An excerpt from one of my favorite poems by Henry Van Dyke.

there are much worse things than sending your healthy, amazing, sassy, sensitive, loving little boy to Kindergarten:).

Likeeeee your sassy little 3YR old ripping the spacebar key off your Mac and now you have to hit it hard and twice in between each.and.every.word. Someone (me? the Mac? Theo????)won'tsurvivethis - me giving up on this POS.;).

in conclusion;). 

Guys...I'm gathering that it doesn't get easier. Pregnant or not. First born or last. Kindergarten or College. The 'firsts' are going to keep coming and I can only hope that at some point I can replace this junk computer or I may stop sharing those firsts with you;).

the only parents who walked their kid to class?!?!? Maybe the dumbest parents, apparently, cause he lost it immediately after this photo was taken:(

at pick-up:) Happiest boy!!! 

this made the 'Save Forever Box'...not starting too strong on keeping minimal things;)

day2:)

theo decided now would be a good time to start being a dick. Now as in...the week my eldest starts school and I'm looking forward to a peaceful household. Apparently, she's gonna pick-up the slack on 'making things difficult';).

#BLESSED ;)

he's five.

post by casey.

oh my gosh...I love him:)

this comes from a place of love...but at this very moment (and for the last 2 weeks)...I'm READY for him to start school!!!!

homer turned 5 on May8th!! Let the record state that since before his 1st birthday - see HERE - I've been recording entires in a journal for him, about how sassy he is. He's still sassy;). But along with being somewhat of a handful, I'm showered with love from this kid all.day.long. It takes a toll on my mental health but this kid ends every day with a hug and kiss (and sometimes a headstand in bed;) and begins every day with a morning hug. I'm very fortunate that besides being a pretty consistent jerk...he's so incredibly loving and kind. Lets hope that all works itself out into a very passionate and kind and generous young man someday;)

the Sunday before Homer's birthday we had everyone over for, what's turning out to be, a traditional Breakfast-For-Dinner Dinner:)

the day of his birthday, Jacob took off work early so we could take him to dinner, Target to pick out a birthday gift (he chose a huge Nerf Gun:) and then the movies! Hi, Date Nights with your kids can get pricey!!!!! Luckily, we had planned ahead and I also had Gift Certificates to use at the movies. PHEW!!!

we had dinner at Applebee's, mainly because they sing you Happy Birthday.

We forgot to request that they sing Homer Happy Birthday...oops;). It was still a great time, we rarely get one-on-one time with the kids...together!

And the food was so so good:)

Let's Hug It Out t-shirt that Courts got Homer for his Birthday:)

we saw Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2

It was great and Homer (we all:) loved it:)

and now just a few random photos of the days following his birthday...where no photo would be complete without the massive Nerf Gun and/or Darth Vader Hoodie he got from Aunt Pigg:)

and now, if you're up for it, a longgggg and emotional - only for me;) - trip down memory lane...brought to you by my brillianttttt idea to start a blog...where I can spend hours in bed at night, reminiscing and crying and crying and reminiscing;)

Homer's Birthdays:

ONE - TWO - THREE - FOUR

a few things: apparently, we didn't get a 1YR photo in the chair! CRAP:( And honestly, with the 24MO thing - how embarrassing:/...eventually, I'm gonna photoshop that into 2YRS. First Time Mom crap;)

the Smith's go to church.

anddddd Rocky puked on Jacob - it wasn't that much puke;). anddddd Homer said 'butt-crack' and cried when the 'scary lady' asked him to participate in collecting the donations. Not entirely sure where Theo was in all of this?!;)
So basically, we nailed our first night at church;)

guys. We went to Church. For the first time...as a family:) It's something that's been on my mind for some time now. Since Homer's gotten a little older and especially since we made the decision to send him to the private Catholic school in the fall - he'll be in kindergarten, full days, starting in September. So there's that!!!!. And a few other things, like feeling more like a grown-up these last few years and feeling like I want to find a place in my community and...I don't know?! I don't know what it is I'm looking to get out of this, if anything...but I felt compelled to go. And I'm glad I have a husband that supports that, even if going really isn't something he felt compelled to do:)

soooooo, we're not Catholic. And we're not especially religious. We have our beliefs and we can appreciate what the Catholic school brings to the table for Homer. Jacob and I both feel like the class sizes and the opportunity for Homer to get more attention and help or discipline, if needed, just seemed appealing and right for him and his personality. We feel super lucky that it's even an option. And really only an option because I've been diligent enough to set aside what will be needed for his tuition, over the course of the last year.

sooooo, we're not Catholic. Courtney is. She converted when she married Dave, 15 years ago. Jacob is as well, but was never Confirmed. 
My sisters and I were baptized Methodist. There have been times in our lives that we attended church but not locally and not very often. BUT being Methodist is something I feel proud to be. I feel like it's a good fit for me and any time I have attended a Methodist mass, I felt like it suited who I am and what I believe. 

because Homer will be attending a Catholic school, he'll be attending mass weekly with the rest of the students. He will be taught about that Catholic religion. I respect those beliefs and we're comfortable with Homer learning about that. But mine and Jacob's beliefs don't fully align with those of the Catholic church. SO what we hope to do, by attending the Methodist church weekly, is to introduce the kids to another religion. Eventually, they'll decide what works for them and what doesn't. 

and I'm actually kinda excited to learn about the Catholic religion right along with Homer. Right now we listen to him and his 6YR old cousin argue debate about Jesus vs. God and whether the world is flat or round...it's pretty adorable listening to them and hearing that they already have such strong convictions at such a young age. Good lord, they really are sponges:)

blah, blah, blah...Catholic, Methodist...round, flat...God, evolution...potatoes, poe-ta-toes, right?;)

when we came home from Church tonight and talked about how we could be better church-goers next time - by not being sassy out of our mouths or on our faces;) - and talked about what we had heard and learned....Homer said that he felt like crying...not because he was sad, but because "I was so happy to know that Jesus is all around us":) 

a part of me hates the growing-up thing and the learning new things, thingggggg the kids are constantly doing! But more than that, I love who they are becoming and I love that moment AFTER the sassy mouth and the sassy face, when I doubt anything I'm trying to do is sinking in...that moment AFTER that, when he says something that makes me think it's all gonna be okay:)

so whether you go to church or don't or believe or don't...I really have nothing to say about that. Tonight was Night1 for us. We're trying church on. We're going to see if it's a good fit. Theo said she liked the songs:) And Rocky threw a toy across 2 pews - the kid has a great arm!;). What I do like, is us going together. And even though Jacob and I are mid-fight right now - which meant we walked there in silence and let the kids sit between us - for the 5 total minutes we were actually able to listen to what was being said...and exchange a smirk/glance when the guy a few pews up sang like his life depended on it;)...we silently pulled our shit together:) So maybe church isn't all bad;)

we live 2 blocks from church, so walking is the obvious choice:)

birthdays are about family...and mostly presents. By Homer Smith.

post by casey

i mean, what can I say that won't lead to a thousand tears?

we love this boy. Gosh, he's pushed me to the verge with his awful attitude and then pulled me right back in with his huge heart:) Homer just wants things a certain way and he'll try to negotiate with you to the ends of the earth;). He's sweet as candy and has a mouth full of cavities to prove it;) But he's special. And he's perfect. And he minds his manners. And he's such a jerk. And he's 4:')

his 3rd birthday HERE. his 2nd birthday HERE. his 1st birthday HERE. - don't mind me, over here...in my dark room...crying those thousand tears now;'(((((((

homer helped decorate:)

this mayyyyy have been my favorite birthday feast, to date:) YUM!

thanks to my mom, for capturing some perfect/non-iPhone photos:)

this year we asked Homer what 4 things he wanted. His response: a RED hulk costume - couldn't find and we question whether it even exists?!?!. A (pretend) Power Ranger gun with 3 bullets - again...wtf?. Bubble gum - thanks Auntie Pigg!!!!:). A bike:)

not only do I love Homer's genuine excitement in these photos...but the part that has me all choked up...what is surrounding him. His family. His cousins. His built-in best friends. They just get right into it with him. Happy FOR him. :)

the weather was perfect to hang-out outside with our coffee...for the kids to play and Homer to get some practice in on his bike - he is SO good at it!!!!:) And of course, for sidewalk chalk - aka. body tracing...see more on my SnapChat: me.caseysmith.

bike

black letter board

it was such a great day. Made better because we were able to celebrate Mother's Day AND my 1st born on the same day:) I gotta say...I never dreamt of being a mom. Neither Jacob or I knew if we had it in us. But I'm so glad we decided not to let fear make that decision for us - just unprotected sex;) Just KIDDING ma, I've never had s.e.x. Ew.

Homer Nicholas Scott Smith - I'm typing that with a raised voice because that's SO OFTEN HOW IT COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH AT HOME;)

we love you too much. It's quite disgusting. We're gonna be front-row for everything. You wanna do Softball? We'll be there. You want to win some Interpretive Dance Competitions? Count us in. You've decided to play video games for a living - from your own apartment, ya bum!!! What time should we log-in? We'll support you in anything you love. We love you. Always have. Always will.