just a mom...who doesn't know how old her kids are.

post by Casey.



i've joined the ranks of 'those moms' that don't really know how old their kids are...let alone, their own age;). I'm embracing this time in our lives. 
"There they are...alive and an age:)." #BLESSED


okay...so it's been a minute since we've blogged...and I'm okay with that. I'm about 5 years behind on my photo books...pretty okay with that. I've missed a few months of the Traditional-Monthly-Orange-Chair-Photos of the kids anddddd I'm letting that wash over me as well. I'm a creature of habit, who is convinced they're FREE AS A BIRD!!!;) So the traditions I've set for myself are hard to let go of sometimes. But I'm trying to remember that it's quite possible these photos books I STRESSED about completing will be fished out of a flooded basement at some point;).
I'm finding my balance between being so so okay with things as they are but also choosing wisely what I should put some energy into. 


the last time I blogged we were just days away from finding out we were expecting our 5th baby! Man. Here we are 6 months later and we are stuck between no longer expecting that baby and still not expecting a baby. The last 6 months have been a pretty wild ride. Of course, now that we're on the other side of it..I feel fucking...different. I don't want to be dramatic...and maybe that entire miscarriage deserves a post of it's own someday...but it was heavy enough to put things into perspective. I've always felt pretty happy and content and just overall...good:). But by the end of that miscarriage things shifted and I've never before embraced the not knowing like I'm doing now. 
We want another baby so badly. But god damn...we're happy:). "It's going to be okay.":)

okay...Jacob's got a To-Do List longer than most for our Sunday at home...so I best wrap this up!!!
Here are the photos I DO have of our not-so-baby-babies:).

homer turned SEVEN in May!! He is still reading SO well. School has been great for him and he'll be heading into the 2nd Grade this Fall! He did Flag Football in the Spring - which he loved, has swim lessons in a few weeks and then a quick 3-hr Ninja Camp in late July! He's still a HUGE pain in my ass but his heart is so so good:).

theo turned FIVE in March!!! She's mostly disgusting and A LOT sweet but a total sass and we're working on just being nice to people in general. ARG!!;). She's still sucking her fingers and tooting all around the house. She loves horses and really nailed Preschool! Next up is Kindergarten in the Fall! She also just finished a little Gymnastics Camp and I'm so proud of how brave she was in going! She's also got swim lessons with Homer in a few weeks!

rockyP. rockkkkyyyyyyppppppppp. Luckily, I find him more cute than I find him frustrating because there's never a day or a time within every 1/2 hour that I'm not wondering: "WTFFFFFF ROCKKKKYYYYYPPPPP?!?!??!! WHYYYYYYYYY?????";). I've emailed several people about taking him off my hands for JUST 2 days a week and I'm having NO luck;). I love my crazy-boy so damn much!!!:)

ike has been sneaking around GROWING UP and of course I didn't realize this until I looked at these photos! GOOD LORD!!! Just in the last few months he decided to walk and jabber and become a Stage5 Clinger to mom! NO ONE BUT MOM WILL DO - he's even taken it a step further and decided to lose his shit if anyone even JOKES about taking mom away!!! Fun times;). Now that I've seen ALL of my other kids start favoring dad...I'm not taking for granted all the snuggles I'm getting because Mom will be discarded sooner or later;).

Ike still sucks his thumb. He sleeps like a champ. Eats like a bird. Loves the water. Hates anyone but Mom. Hates the sound of those hand dryers in bathrooms and tractors/machinery (they're currently redoing the road by our house - so that's been dumb;).

Ike Ewalt...you are a huge turd and we love you:).

Also...that buzz cut!!!! I know that no one but us would agree but after buzzing it...we agreed that it just doesn't suit him. Currently, growing it wayyyyy back out:):).

kids at various ages.

post by casey.

ike: 10 + 11 months and rockyp: 32, 33 + 34 months.

i think the last time I blogged about these boys, I put the wrong update? HERE I said I was posting Rocky at 32MO but really I didn't and SO here we are. 

HEY GUYYYYSSSSSSSS!!! Funny story...here it comes...wait for it...Remember that time I said I was gonna have all this time to blog?!. The end.;)

anyone else feel like summer flew?!?!? Didn't even break open that Target Dollar Section Lemonade Stand sign. Oops. 

PS. I've thrown all SUMMER BUCKET LISTS out the window in this house. I give anyone that makes one and then doesn't end the summer in a complete fucking panic, a virtual high-five. I've got goals and hopes and dreams for our summers but that damn list has brought more rush and force and slight annoyance than I'm willing to allow in my life!;). Buuuuuuuyyyyyeeeee.

so here we are, 1/2 way through October and...I feel great! We've hit a great stride! Those few weeks leading up to the start of the school year have me super rage-ey and hitting WAY below the belt in all those fights I'm allowing my 6YR old to manipulatively drag me into. But we're better now;).

we've been busy selling all.the.things and Jacob has come home and commented on how amazing it feels to walk in to the living room and find things missing;). The weight of all our 'things' was weighing us down far more than we realized! And honestly, I think we have FAR less than the average household but still...so so much. Minimizing has freed up space in the house AND in our heads and we're hanging onto that amazing feeling and continuing to downsize, downsize, downsize!!!

and less stuff means a lot less messes! The kids have only a few toys (still too many, in my opinion). Cleaning has been a breeze and so when I finish this blog post, the mess the kids make for me in the living room will be WAY less insane than it would have been a few weeks ago;).

okay, here are my old babies!:)

my precious baby boy is a week from his FIRST Birthday!!! I'm not even sad about it anymore. It's taken 4 kids to stop being so upset about the passing of the years. I mean...don't get me wrong, I'm still crying about it all.the.time. But today, right this minute...I'm okay.ish.

ike is pulling himself up next to things and looks to be following his older siblings in taking his time on the walking thing and I'm so down with that:). 

He's sleeping through the night. He's napping once a day. He's waving Bye. He's laughing and sometimes crying. And occasionally there's some head butting of the living room floor - soooo, it's clear he's mine;).

we stopped nursing a few weeks ago and that was both sad and natural. Like my last few babes, my body just slowed in producing and so we just gradually weaned and at times I wish we could just keep going and going and we could have had I tried to push it but 11+ months feels pretty great too. So there you have it:).

and then there's this...busy bee. Yeah...we'll stick to Busy Bee;). 

rockyp is trouble;). BUT I still find him SO freaking cute!!!! So after I get after him for coloring the tops of his feet in permanent marker while I make my bed, he comes and apologizes so cutely and of course I'm a sucker and believe him when he agrees to never do that again;).

it doesn't really seem like Rocky's been up to much?! He's less focused on learning to potty train and talking clearly and more concerned about taking a marker to my wall, shitting on my floor, spilling my coffee, dropping my computer, walking out in the rain with his socks on (and usually nothing else;), dropping a carton of eggs out of the fridge, tipping over my lamps, opening doors and not shutting them (and then me discovering this 30MIN later when I feel the cool breeze!!), calling 911, drinking straight out of my creamer, putting all my spoons under his pillow, knocking photos off the wall, ripping up Homer's homework, climbing ON the van, spraying me with the hose...while I'm reading a book...SHALL I GO ON!??!?!;).

jesus started creating Rockyp the minute he heard me, at 10years old, start saying to my parents: "I'm bored!". I see what you did there, Jesus;).

he gives me the biggest headache but honestly, I think he's created the softest part in my heart. I love this kid so damn much:).

me giving Rocky some 'direction' during our photo shoot - and in case you ever thought these were easy breezy;).

UP 16WKS in and 16MO out

DOWN 25WKS in and 25MO out (and clearly enthused about it;)

ike: 6 months and rockyp: 29 months

post by casey.

you guys, we had just about the best weekend! And it's a Monday morning and I'm still reeling from those Good Sunday Vibes:). It helps a bit that getting Homer up and ready for school was painless and 2 out of 3 kiddos are still sleeping - Theo JUST got up at 850AM! But it was such a wonderful weekend and there were so many moments that brought those happy tears to my eyes. It seems that a growing trend in my most favorite memories, involve me sitting somewhere with a baby on the boob and Jacob in the distance...plus 3 more kiddos this time:).

okay, lets get to it. 

SO many milestones these last few weeks and in the upcoming weeks. Ike is 6.MONTHS.OLD and Homer will be turning 6.YEARS.OLD in a week. From day to day, I hardly have enough time to dwell on any of this but you bet I make time to REALLY let the reality of TIME and AGE and my BABIES and LIFE wash over me in the darkest of nights...lotssssss of quiet sobbing happening between the hours of 1147PM and 123AM;).

ike is 6 months old. He is in that little bubble of PERFECTION. Rocky on the other hand *side eye* - we'll get to him;).

ike is almost 19lbs and I think he'd actually be closer to 20lbs had we not lost some ground when he was in the hospital - if you missed that, there's a post HERE. He's still exclusively breastfed and doing well with that. I haven't added solids and I'm probably gonna keep being super lazy taking that approach until he's closer to 9 months:).

he's not sleeping through the night and I really have no clue how much he sleeps because I just don't keep track. He sleeps when he sleeps and it is what it is. He does take 2 pretty solid naps during the day though!:)

ike still has a cough. Still...or again!? It's all pretty much the same at this point. I think we're just gonna be working through respiratory issues until he's a bit older, unfortunately. But he's taking it all in stride and luckily, nothing more serious has come of it.

we still have a thumb sucker andddddd it's prettyyyyyyy adorable. I'll worry about whether he'll be sucking his fingers in his 1st Grade Photos when the time comes;).

he's scooting all over the place. Rolls nonstop. If I had to guess...I THINKKKKK we may have a walker at or BEFORE a year. Anything before 14 months would be a record for our babies;):).

ike is just the best. Smiles nonstop. Talking up a storm. Loves being outside. Loves being cuddled. He's wonderful and we love him so so SO much!

and thennnnnn there's Rocky.Freaking.P. I'm seriously laughing to myself just thinking about this goof ball! Oh man. Just when you think they'll have no personality at all;).

rockyP is a riot. He's also a terrible listener. Which is pretty typical of his age but we're working on it:). As you can see here, he was taking a new smile out for a spin for these photos - the squinty eye variety;). 

he prefers to actually do some walking on our walks, as opposed to riding in the stroller. Sometimes he has a choice, most of the time he doesn't...due to the above mentioned listening issue and oncoming traffic;/. 

he is a good sleeper. Still in his big boy bed on the floor but I think we're ready to get him up off the floor and into an actual bed!

Sometimes in the morning, he gets up and just looks out the window for a while. Watches the buses going to and from school and just keeps to himself for a while:).

rocky is talking up a storm and we're gaining some ground there too...we can understand about 72% of what he says now;). 

rocky keeps us on our toes and I wouldn't change a darn thing about him!:) He's so feisty and hardly ever eats. Until he does...and then he eats anything that ain't tied down;). He sings, he dances...he's a one-man-variety-show!!! 

don't be fooled, though...as much as he makes me laugh...he's got me losing my shit;).

BUT guess what...the windows are open now with this weather and so that means I've got to try and keep my 'temper' under control for all those ears out walking by;).

love my boys and as much crazy as they bring...they bring so much more fun than I could have ever imagined!:)

theo daisy turns FOUR.

post by casey.

i should have written this post a few weeks ago, when Theo actually turned 4. Not this morning...when she so clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed. There's never been such a wrong side. 

She's been kicking toys around. I've threatened to take her back to bed several times. She put a piece of toast in the toaster and then when I offered to butter it she freaked out cause "I don't WANT TOAST!!". Obviously, I read those signals wrong;).

The rest of the kids are still sleeping and so she's trying to be loud enough to wake them up...

she's trying to drag me down with her. I refuse. BUT I may have thrown my hands up and said: "SURE! FINE! BE THAT WAY! Kill bunnies and teach your friends how to spell the FWORD! GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR LIFE!!!!".

suddenly, she's all smiles and comes to tell me that she just "tooted in the kitchen" and would also like to cuddle. Can she be trusted?!?!;)

Theo Daisy is 4:)

i remember when contractions began - check-out her birth story HERE and HERE. I remember knowing that she was a little chunk, compared to her older brother, the minute she arrived (she was 8lbs12oz and Homer was 7lbs4oz:). I remember that we went in with 2 names and Theo was the underdog. Neither of us really thought we'd end up using it. BUT once she was in my arms and they asked us what her name was...I looked at Jacob and said...Theo! He even asked me if I was sure because we had been so set on the other name! - I'm withholding that other name because it's still in our top 2 baby girl names and you just never know;).

theo is named after her Great Grandfather. My mom's dad. Alden Theodore Bieze. 

i remember Jacob, Homer and I had just moved into our current home and we were pregnant with Theo. While we were painting the bathroom, late one night, I muttered on for 30min about a potential middle name to go with Theo and Jacob finally had to tell me to just spit it out! I was almost embarrassed to suggest Daisy because I thought Jacob would think I was nuts. 

"what about Theo Daisy?"....

Jacob: "........I like it!".

i've got a long history with daisies and they're my favorite flower and so here we are:).

although, I will admit that after she was born we somehow misplaced her little stamped feet and so we took her back in a few days later to get that redone. When they were filling it out they asked us what her middle name was and both Jacob and I looked at each other, both kinda embarrassed to admit that we'd given our baby girl the middle name Daisy!;). That being said...we said it out loud that day and we've never felt anything but pride since!

theo has been such a blast! She's so full of personality!! She's much less sassy than her older brother but that doesn't mean she doesn't have her days;). 

she's such a good helper. We 'clean-up' every day after Rocky goes down for his nap. She loves to help with Ike and soothe him if he's upset. She likes to wake Rocky up after nap time or in the mornings. 

she's so good at playing by herself! She loves figurines right now! Anything "Horsey or Unicorn"! She's obsessed! She lines them up. She plays house with them. As I'm typing this up, she's playing alone and telling stories and playing pretend...although, it seems that one horsey has died and one is in jail and the other horsey's sisters are helping him get out of jail...?!?!?!

we took Theo and WillB out to dinner for their birthdays:).

Theo was born on 3/30/14 and Will on 4/2/14.

as much as I'd love to have another baby girl...I really can't imagine Theo ever having to share her space in this family with another girl. I guess we shall see:)

Happy Birthday Theo Daisy!!!!

You are absolutely one of a kind!:)