Christmas Break Life.

Well, we managed to go just over 6months without a TV (we don’t have a computer or iPads/etc either) and thennnnn Christmas Break;). 

Aunt Pigg was generous enough to lend us a small TV, DVD player, and a stack of DVDs (ours are still packed away somewhere). Between meals, sledding outside, and turns at Sorry…it’s been Jumanji, Men in Black III, and the Croods. Non.Stop;).

The plan is to pack it all up on Saturday night and get back to the dark ages over here come Sunday morning:).

So, here’s life lately:).

Baby Evan smiles giving me life:).

Fitting.

Storage is a top priority going into the New Year - creating storage on a tight budget. The Playroom is a disaster - I mean…the whole dang house is:/. Toys, games, books, crayons/markers…everywhereeeee. Games like Sorry don’t last very long around here when they don’t have a designated spot to be ‘put away’.

Little reminders….

That I’m doing something right. 

That I want to do better. 

That I can do better.

That they deserve better. 

That I love them. 

That I am loved.

Ran out of my natural deodorant…again. Seems like I go through it too fast. Seems so dang expensive. Doesn’t actually seem to do the trick. SO gonna try a little DIY and hope for the best:).

I continue to exercise a lot of self control in staying, mostly, offline. It’s - OBVIOUSLY - freed up a lot of time for other things. I may even end up finishing a 16th book before the New Year! But I’ve also been trying to watch a few old movies that I’ve never seen!

Breakfast At Tiffany’s…the notes I took after watching it:

watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Neither loved it or disliked it. Glad that I can say I watched it but also didn’t strike a cord with me. But, also…didn’t find myself struggling to get through it.

#727

Reading and Jumanji - for the 1000000th time;).

Christmas Together

Happy Day After Christmas!!!:)

I’m settling in for a week-long break with the kids and I’m really looking forward to it! The To Do List is short and I’m sure the days will get longggg but the weather is looking SO good (mid/high 30’s all week and after the very negative and windy temps we’ve been dealing with, 30 will be toasty!!;) being outside and for that, we’re thankful!!!:)

I’ll keep this short because we’re gonna load up and head to Courts for coffee + French Toast. Lots of kids. Lots of sisters;). Lots of chaos, per usual:). 

Someone, kindly, pointed out to me recently how lucky we all are to be so close and although, it’s never lost on me that we are SO dang blessed…I think I do often forget that this might not be the norm. Family is going to look different for everyone but I hope more than anything, that you’ve created and surrounded yourself with the very best and you feel very loved.

Having somewhere to go is Home. Having someone to love is Family. And having both is a Blessing.

Below is a song I replayed over and over this season. A new favorite. 

Merry Christmas, friends:).

 "What I'm Thankful For (The Thanksgiving Song)"

(with Trisha Yearwood)

(feat. James Taylor)

LISTEN HERE

What I'm thankful for ain't on no list
For it only in my heart exists
For time has helped me understand
The things I can't hold in my hand

For those that came before my turn
Oh, from whom I've gathered lessons learned
That light the path that lies ahead
I see them as I bow my head

Yes, I'm thankful for the Lord above
The gift of His unending love
The promise kept that there is something more
These are the things I'm thankful for

For our children hear this prayer
Let love surround them everywhere
And may their children's children know
The one from whom all blessings flow

Yes, I'm thankful for the Lord above
The gift of His unending love
The promise kept that there is something more
These are the things I'm thankful for

And amidst these gifts and presents
We receive this holiday
May we take a thoughtful second
Just to fold our hands and pray

Yes, I'm thankful for the Lord above
The gift of His unending love
The promise kept that there is so much more
These are the things I'm thankful for

Spirit-led 2023

I thrifted these little doilies recently…how is this the first time I’ve thrifted doilies?! I’m in love:).

Jacob brought home a Milwaukee (the tool, for those unfamiliar;) onesie for Evan:).

Still trying to make headway on all.the.things. Wanting to be a minimalist but having a hard time parting with some of the things:/. I think what I’ve figured out is that if I have things that I feel are worth selling…if I at least put the effort into tryinggggg to sell them - and then they don’t sell - I feel less bad about donating them;). SO…slowly but surely!

Our house is colddddd…not AS cold if it’s not windy or below 20;). We’re still waiting for things to fall together in order to replace the roof, windows + siding…considering this a character building time for all of us;).

It might be time I get a travel mug that I love;).

I finished my 15th book of the year and it was a good one: Chasing Slow, Erin Loechner

Besides being physically ill - all of us - I’ve been struggling mentally and that could be a full blog post of its own. But I’ll share some of what I’ve been clinging to:

My heart was saying, “Lord, take away this longing or give me that for which I long.” The Lord was answering, “I must teach you to long for something better.”

- Elizabeth Elliot

But let all who take refuge in You rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread Your protection over them, what all who love Your name may be filled with joy. For You bless the godly, O Lord; You surround them with your shield of love.

- Psalm 5:11-12

There’s no place I could go Your love won’t find me. No place I could hide that You can’t see. No place I could fall Your love wouldn’t catch me. You see it all, You see it all, You’re in everything; You’re all around me. When I withdraw still You pursue. When I’m misunderstood Your love understands me.

“You couldn’t relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. You had to accept it as a whole - like the world, or the person you loved.”

- Novelist, Stewart O’Nan

And I won’t leave you hanging with this vague - I’m struggling and sharing a photo crying - without a bit of an explanation. Honestly, it’s hard to sum up. Or maybe it is. It’s not some big event or tragedy - thank God. And honestly, that’s layered…because when I feel bad? depressed?…and I realize that nothing ‘bad’ has actually caused these feelings…I feel a bit worse for struggling when there are people with legitimate struggles. Perspective usually helps but these last few weeks, I think the combination of pretty normal hormones and life and 6 kids and sleep deprivation and a husband working around the clock (we’re so lucky he has a job!) and bills and all the Christmas things (which I do love!) - and I’m trying to finish this thought while Rocky insists I guess what his favorite song is and Theo is listing off which songs they’re singing for Christmas Eve Mass tomorrow and Mae is opening string cheese and throwing the wrappers on the floor and Ike is crying because he wants cereal but I need to do the dishes because nothing is clean to eat off and they’re eating chips on the couch even after I’ve told them twice not to eat chips on the couch…

I want to be enjoying it all and I’m feeling hyper aware these days, of how quickly these days are going and how I get to do this once and I’m failing (not entirely but I could be doing better, that’s just the truth) and I’m angry and then I’m angry that I’m spending any of this precious time angry and being unkind to my kids and my husband…oof. The vicious cycle I’ve created. SO…yeahhhh *awkward/crickets/vulnerability regret* is setting in;).

Someone I follow on Instagram is doing a Spirit-Led 2023. I liked that. I want to be on my knees in 2023 - giving it up but not giving up…handing it over. Trusting. ‘Doing the next right thing’…I may not have the answers but I know who does and He seems to always keep it simple, where as I like to overcomplicate things:).

“You will not be left with less for choosing to rest in His providence instead of panicking, doubting, and orchestrating.”

- Sarah Erickson

And one that makes me cry every time…

I asked God “why do you still love me, why after all the things I’ve done you still want my heart?” He answered me “I made you for me. And as long as you let me, I will save you from yourself.”

…I will save you from yourself.

And a hard pivot to animal hair…;). 

We’re committed to animals but the hairrrrrr…goodness…the.hair😳😩.

More chalk art. Theo's holding the hand of her creation;).

Willy is Rocky’s creation, obviously;).

Today's Listen: We’re All Jess Trying To Get By

Not sure what it was about this episode but it had me in tears multiple times - could have been Doug’s laid back demeanor;) OR just how dang lucky this guy is to be alive!!…likely a mix of that and where I’m at in my life:). Finding perspective in crappy situations and also owning your choices and knowing that you can contribute/put in the work/make the choice to truly change the outcome of your life and health. What is it that they say…it’s not always easy but the answer is usually pretty simple. Anyway…this family just really encourages/inspires me:).

Okay. I’m not sure if that works better…sharing a bunch of choppy/random thoughts - kinda how my mind works, anyway. Or trying to string it all together in a long blog post. Regardless. This is today - the last few days. Today…we’ll see:).

the brink.

It’s 217PM - a Tuesday. Day27?! (give or take) of some sort of illness. All 4 of the children in my care, aged 5 and under, have, miraculously, fallen asleep…at the same time…without an ounce of effort on my part. I’m, honestly, not sure I believe it but yet…I really really can…because isn’t that how it always goes…when you’re on the brink. On the edge of losing your mind. Exhausted from the illness - yours and theirs. That’s usually when you throw your shoulder into a door jam or hit your head getting into the car or trip over the dog or spill something, rip something, lose something, forget something…

A perfectly synched up nap ONLY comes when you’re on the brink!

I’ve decided to take another little - maybe not so little? - social media hiatus. When I’m feeling under the weather or just down in the dumps…Instagram provides relief but also, the worst kind of distraction. I’ve found that with certain things, that I like to do too much…it’s an all-in or all-out type deal for me - much like alcohol - I have a hard time finding middle ground with Instagram and so it’s just easier to quit it entirely…for now:). BUT when the mood strikes, I think I’ll continue sharing here:).

Okay, I just deleted a few paragraphs but to sum it up…I just want to find that balance. The balance I’m talking about here is the one where I speak openly and honestly about my struggles but somehow keep it light enough that I don’t pull you down into the depths with me;). It’s hardddd and I’m tireddddd but it’s gonna be okayyyyy and this will passsss and I can do betterrrrr:).

And now some photos of life lately:).

It’s freezing but you can’t deny how beautiful it is.

Jacob installed a little ventless/gas stove and it’s been keeping us cozy:).

Date Day with Jacob to finish up Christmas Shopping.

Found a new favorite thrifting spot - it has some great stuff (they knew it was worth it, tho) and it had a coffee bar! - snagged this Northface jacket for $30!

I just recently made a New Years Resolution to read the Bible in 2023 or at least some sort of daily devotion/Bible-inspired…inspiration…daily. And then this showed up in the mail, from a friend:).

The current state of our playroom - which reminds me that we still haven’t fully moved all of our things out of my in-laws basement and at least a 1/4 of our belongings are still in storage:/.

Recent Listen:) The Boom Clap Podcast

“…so much of what we’re experiencing right now is just living outside of the way we were created to live.” - Rita

“I think that often it’s easy to focus on the bad things in the world, the bad things that we experience and think: I don’t deserve that. But if we flip our thinking, remembering that really, the good is what we should be focusing on and the good is what we’re undeserving of but we only have the good because we have a loving God. That totally changes our perspective and allows us to reside more in the strengths - that, like Cecily said - does not come from us but the strength that we, ultimately, have because of our lord.” - Rita

“…bitterness is often a result of deep sounding and it carries the sting of unfulfilled hopes. Bitterness is an emotional problem that often rejects reasoning…” - Psalm 73

randoms.

For a minute there I thought things would slow down after the kids were back in school, but as every week passes…the calendar continues to stay FULL. We’ve been getting through it one birthday, volleyball/football game + swim meet, school board meeting, house project, meltdown/tantrum, sleepless night, illness, early morning walk, puppy clean-up, diaper change and grocery run at.a.time.:)

It’s Thursday, October 13, 2021. Jacob had coffee made when I woke up this morning. My oldest niece is on her way to do a college tour. I’ve got 4 kiddos here with me today, playing in the living room while I try to quickly get a blog post up because for some reason I felt compelled to ‘share’ today.

*EDIT: it’s 1130PM…just realizing it’s actually the 14th🥱😴👌🤪

That all just sounds pretty dang magical but if I were to breakdown each of those things: what lead to that coffee, our relationship with our niece, the naughty words coming out of those little boys’ mouths…life is anything but simple. 

I hope someone does something kind for you today. I hope you pay that forward. I hope you listen today, hear someone with an opposing view. I hope you extend an olive branch. I hope you get a hug and a smile. I hope that when you put it all down, it’s clear that it’s still okay…when you look up - gosh, I hope you can see that there’s always something joyful and {usually:} pretty simple - happening right in front of you:).

This was a wonderful podcast to stumble across recently - Old Fashioned On Purpose. Well timed with my niece considering college. I’ve talked about this before but I just don’t believe debt is a good thing and I’ve yet to speak to someone who doesn’t feel that college-debt burden very heavily. Here are 2 excerpts (this was in no way about Covid but I appreciated her few thoughts on that as well):

“To your best ability, put yourself in a place of power when it comes to your employment.”

“I don’t care if you’re pro-vaccine or anti-vaccine…I do believe, though, that forcing a medical treatment onto someone that they don’t want in order to keep their job is wrong.”

This reminded me of my home-birth and how my midwife said that their goal was to empower me. I think we should be weary of anyone or anything that would like us to be reliant on them. We should be encouraged to think and speak freely. Do our own research, draw our own conclusions. Knowledge is always power.

Yup.

 

Kim, I don’t know if you’re reading this but we need these…right?!;) 

Or do you already have both;)?

72 days until Christmas - obviously:)❤️

Rocky made my face out of ketchup😑🤦🏼‍♀️😝🤣

Murphy is 10-1/2weeks old and he’s already a brute…and we mayyyy be making some headway on potty training!:)

We’re still plugging away at getting our house ready to sell and as you can see…that’s going very smoothly😑🙏🏻😬🤪.

I was finally able to catch a few of my goddaughters volleyball games!! She is definitely approaching the age where their skills are improving and it’s getting more interesting/exciting to watch!:)

This transition to fall has been downright perfection!!

“This applies to sex, religious practices, relationship choices, lifestyle choices, and pharmaceutical choices.”

My body, my choice.

- people last year that support mandating an injection into all bodies...no matter what...this year😒.

Living that vitamin life:)

Life is different now…I’m in need of a compost toilet!;) Hook a girl up!

Okay, IF our house sells quickly (gosh, - and for what we’re hoping to get - that would be the dream:), I might not be hosting our annual Holiday Wine Night…at least not at our current home. But this inspo made me think I could make it work at Chokecherry…maybe…somehow;).

You do...have.every.right.

Our flower garden is still thriving!!! 

Anyone know if it’s too late to order and get some tulips in the ground?! - my guess is yes (that it's too late;)…but hoping there’s still a window?

❤️

Smokey (and no less than 40 other cars in Clark County;) finally got fixed!! Hoping this helps with all the territory marking he’s been doing:/. 

Painting is on the agenda today…and every day until the end.of.time.:)

Me and my beautiful baby boy:)💙

Missing our boy, P:) But gosh darn, he’s doing an amazing job.

The Silent Parade…The Pledge of Allegiance, The National Anthem…healthcare workers, the police force + first responders - those upholding informed constant/serving and protecting…all hitting a bit different these days. Proud.

Next Colby School Board Meeting is on Thursday, October 21st. You don't have to stand-up or speak-out...just show up. If none of this sits right with you, come listen. Come hear what's being said and implemented in our schools. The fight isn't with each other, it's with the people/entities passing down 'rules' that don't make sense. Masking children is not necessary and I stand behind that wholeheartedly.

My helpers!:). I may ‘only’ have 2 at home but they might take the most energy;). Here we are grabbing totes for packing up the house next week!:)

Had School Conferences last week and it was good feedback across the board!!  

“Home is the safe place, parents the safe people. They can let it all out because mom and dad, while they may get angry, will not reject or abandon them.” - Motherly

Well…this had me laughing every time!!!;) - Obvs., not because it’s true, mom;)!!!:)

I’ve been doing Recess Duty at the school on Thursdays.

It’s cuteeee and a bit of a break from the homestead when my mom is able to watch kids so I can go alone:)

I want this. My face needssss this.

Baby girl is 16months:).

Jacob went to his first auction;). It is awesome and expensive - us both loving junk/treasures/antiques;).

Ooof. A few names come to mind immediately. 

This is coming from someone (ME) that is NOT doing much perfectly but who has never had any problem admitting/taking fault/ownership in my mistakes - and I did a lot of that over the last year. We seem to lack a lot of self-awareness these days.

And per usual…a quick blog post has turned into a BIG blog post that took the majority of my morning and a lot of ignoring of the children to accomplish!!;) Back to the kids and back to the painting!!:)

Happy Thursday, friends!